Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Enviro-Girl Episode II--Attacking The Kitchen

In a smog-filled, carbon-emitting world mild-mannered blogger Green Girl morphs into Enviro-Girl, her superhero alter ego, in hopes that through her Super-Strength the planet might be saved. Using her Rage-Vision, she glares through the windshields of gas-guzzling SUV's filled with bobble-headed businessmen and oblivious housewives who placidly spend their days driving the streets and highways, contributing to filthy air and a dependence on foreign oil. (She instantly vaporizes drivers caught in the act of disposing their cigarette butts and litter on the side of the road.) Armed with her trusty Steel-Tipped Shovel and her loyal sidekicks, Team Testosterone, Enviro-Girl plants trees and prairies to counteract their pollution and erase Carbon Footprints. With the power of her Scathing Remarks and Writing Skillz, Enviro-Girl confronts the forces of greed, materialism and sloth that work to undermine our planet.

Bachelor #3 Prepares Himself for Today's Battle in The Kitchen.

Enviro-Girl hopes YOU can help in the Fight to Save Planet Earth. Today she takes on her nemesis: The Kitchen.

Daily, brainwashed housewives everywhere believe in harsh chemicals and cleaning solutions as the best ammunition against armies of bacteria and e-coli and germs in The Kitchen. Enviro-Girl tosses aside Mr. Clean and Mr. Bubbles and pulls out simple, humble and inexpensive White Vinegar, which, diluted with hot water, cleans tile, wood and linoleum floors to a bright and greaseless shine. Enviro-Girl scoffs at the scrubbing powers of Comet and Soft Scrub, opting for basic Baking Soda to buff out scratches and stains in her kitchen sink.

Mrs. Meyer, Enviro-Girl's older and wiser mentor, has prepared a phosphate-free concoction with which to combat dirty dishes. The result? Spotlessly washed dishes and a lingering, pleasing aromatherapeutic scent of Geranium.

And to combat the constant threat of germs, bacteria and e-coli, Enviro-Girl relies on Bleach and water combined with her powerful Elbow Grease.

The Kitchen glimmers happily under Enviro-Girl's grime-kicking treatment,
germs, bacteria and e-coli destroyed without the addition of more nonbiodegradable chemicals to the water supply. Another day made safer thanks to Enviro-Girl.


  1. I love this post, you little green fighting machine. And you're sidekick is pretty cute too. Love Mrs. Meyers...I'm partial to the lavender flavor. Just for you, I may use up the last of the scrubbing bubbles and try out the baking soda. And I drive a very small car and hubby drives a scooter.

  2. EnviroGirl, you rock! I'm with you on this one. We use organic cleaning supplies because I don't want the nasty chemical in our house.

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