French women have a saying that goes something like this (ouch! damn Spiderman disc just dinged me on the head--what is with boys and their projectile toys???) anyway, The French. Women. They say "please others, but also please yourself." I've really tried to live by that philosophy since I read it a few years ago. As a mom it's real easy to get sucked into the Super Vortex of Martyrdom. To take a bit for oneself is not only healthy, it's normal.
In the newspaper the other day a former classmate of mine was featured in an article about mothers of boys. (Same crapola about how they wouldn't have it any other way--one Mom was pretty honest, but the rest were quoting Chicken Soup for the Soul BS). She kept saying how "I have nothing, it's all about them. I am their world." I kept thinking, Dang, girl, you have got to get a grip on things. There's more, so much more to life that your kids, and ya know what? Someday you won't be the center of their Universe and wow, you're in for an awakening then. I mean, I'm all about enjoying the bachelors and their childhoods and all, but if Mama doesn't get a break, all levity and perspective goes straight out the window (followed by toys, frying pans, you get the picture). And I don't know that it's so healthy to expect to be the center of your kids' world (for the record, her sons are 5 and 8). I mean, I'm always really proud when they gain some independence and accomplish things apart from me.
But I digress.
I put my French Philosophy to work the other day when my spouse, Mr. D, informed me that we're going to a casino resort the Friday after Thanksgiving to help celebrate his sister's 40th birthday. We go to Iowa for this holiday anyway and the kids will stay at Grandma's house while we travel and hour south to Iowa City. Now, I'd rather go home on Friday. I don't particularly care for casinos. (No, I've nothing against gambling so long as one is responsible, although I've seen people get in serious problems with it. I don't think gambling is any more morally reprehensible than going to a movie or dinner or buying yet another pair of shoes. It's just that personally I can find better ways to spend my cash than shoving it into a slot machine.) But I have to go so I ask myself, how do I make this work for me?
I go online and check out the website for the resort and aha! They have a spa! Can we say "tranquility room?" "Full body 90 minute massage?" "Relaxation, peace and quiet?" Why, that's just the thing to do after Thanksgiving! So while the rest of the gang is frittering away their spare change on blackjack and poker tables until our dinner reservations? This wise woman has a 2:00 appointment booked. Oooo la la. Now to find the perfect reading material to complement my afternoon at the spa.
Let's hear it for the French!