Friday, August 22, 2008
Whoppers, Urban Legends & Blatant Lies
"If you keep making that face, it'll freeze that way."
"You are NOT allowed to go to the mall alone--a gang of people is drugging girls in the bathrooms there and selling them into prostitution and slavery."
"Did you hear about the girl who stayed too long in a tanning bed and she cooked her insides and died."
"If you drink Tang and nothing else, your skin will start to turn orange."
Every kid grows up hearing a healthy dose of whoppers. By the time I was 12 I had a book's worth of fables and fibs meant to improve my behavior or shock me. My friends were the best source of outrageous information.
The best? Came from Sandy Davies. A year younger than me, she lived across the alley with her evil big brother, David (bully-in-residence). She had a largish wading pool, a golden retriever and awesome skill at jumping rope. One day while sitting in my sandbox she started picking and digging at a mosquito bite. When the skin broke open, she began licking off the blood. In response to my curiosity about her behavior she informed me: "When you get a mosquito bite, pick it open and suck out the blood. It'll help you lose weight."
Okay readers, beat that!