Thursday, November 20, 2008

In which Green Girl is vapid and frivolous

I'm all about the secret boyfriends--a passion I share with many bloggy friends (the likes of Mrs. G and Tootsie Farklepants). I've got secret ugly boyfriends, secret gay boyfriends, secret dead boyfriends, secret dreamy boyfriends. I'm a connaisseur of men. But this year People Magazine really missed the target with it's Sexiest Men Alive list. Number one, well, he's the only target they hit dead on--few men make a girl feel all swoony inside like Hugh Jackman. He's got all his hair, kind eyes, a great smile, lovely voice, fantastic chest muscles, and he was Wolverine. Add to the equation the faithful husband-great father bit and he's almost as yummy as Mr. D (who is nearly everything I've mentioned). And I'm totally cool with Daniel Craig as #2 because a) he's hot and b) he's James Bond.

But the rest of the list does nada nunca nothing for this gal. I find the lot of them unattractive and dull--perhaps it's an age thing--Zac Efron? He looks like he's 19 tops. I like my sexy men to look like, well, MEN. Not like they sprouted facial hair and thicker vocal cords last week. Maybe it's a generational thing--the guy who played Zack on Saved by the Bell? He's got a smarmy look about him and still has greasy-looking hair, but maybe younger people who only know him from his TNT show see him differently. And ladies, I simply do not understand this whole Robert Pattinson thing. Granted, I've not read Twilight, but the dude bears an uncanny resemblance to one of my kids' teenaged karate instructors, Mr. K, so that fact alone makes me feel a little icky on the inside when I see him on the cover of Tiger Beat. I'll grant that I'm pushing 40, so anybody playing teenagers these days don't seem sexy or attractive to me. Heck, I hardly liked teenaged boys when I was a teenager, I certainly don't find them desirable now. Seriously, they picked Ed Westwick* over Clive Owen? It's got to be generational--the demographic for People must be ages 15-25 these days.

Readers, did the People picks totally miss the mark this year? Who belonged on the top ten in your opinion?

Days 12 & 13 of my 29-Day Giving Challenge: Visited grandma & brought her lunch, baked banana bread for my favorite mechanic & brought it in to the shop with the Momvan this morning.

*I've never even heard of this guy before yesterday.

22 comments:

  1. I simply CANNOT believe we have the same post today. Jinx!

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  2. Our future President should be at the top of the list.

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  3. Well, since I had to put root day off for a week because of our trip to Hawaii, I guess I won't get to read it. But I never know who half the people are in People, so you're not alone with that. I really like Clive Owen. That Arthur movie with Keira Knightley is right up there with the 10 movies I can stand to watch from start to finish.

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  4. I'll definately add Barack Obama.

    One of my Secret Boyfriends was on Regis and Kelly today....Jimmy Smits.
    Then I would include Taye Diggs, Christopher Meloni (Law and Order:SVU).
    Brad Pitt (did anyone hear him talking about his family on Oprah yesterday...so real.
    As for the older men (cuz ladies, I'm OLD!) I would say Alan Alda.

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  5. Harrison Ford - still. He's aging well. Liam Neeson - still. Simon Baker - yum!

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  6. Should I be nervous that all my secret crushes are on girls????

    Oh wait, Obama too. ;)

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  7. 10. Jeffrey Dean Morgan- the dead guy on 2 of my fave shows (Weeds & Grey's)

    9. Gavin Rossdale (Bush lead singer & Gwen Stefani's hub)

    8. Jon Stewart (Funny = sexy)

    7. Hugh Jackman

    6. John Mayer (I love guys who can sing.)

    5. Daniel Craig

    4. Colin Firth (Mr. Darcy)

    3. Matt Damon

    2. Brad Pitt (w/o the stache...ew)

    1. George Clooney (the eternal #1)

    Yummy!

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  8. I thought some of their pics were a little whack-a-doo too, but then when I saw that Joshua Jackson made the list I didn't care anymore. Me loves him. He is my secret boyfriend. ;) Yum.

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  9. When Heath passed away *sob* I had a hole on my roster. I added Lee Pace who plays Ned on "Pushing Daisies"; he's adorable.

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  10. So funny - I read over the list this morning and thought the same thing too: "Zack Effron! Sexy! Please, I'm old enough to be his mother!" But I have to admit that Robert Pattinson is quite swoon-worthy (he is at least in his 20s so it's not quite THAT bad :)). Twilight obsession or not, I cant resist those eyes/eyebrows and cheekbones - and of course the accent. Yes, I'm pathetic...

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  11. I think his name is Jon Hamm from Mad Men. Mama Mia, I could gaze upon handsome manly face, and other things, all day. I dig the dark, manly men.

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  12. Zac Efron is creepy. Has his voice changed yet?

    But Jon Hamm? SWOON! Also, my own personal favorite is Cillian Murphy.

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  13. Clive Owen, Colin Firth, and the yummy Simon Baker, my newest fave secret BF~check out the cover of TV Guide and those true-blue eyes! And he's a neat dad of 3 AND an Aussie to boot, kind of a blonde Jackman~

    GG just read about your fall and sincerely hope you are mending well.

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  14. It's shameful to type this but I love me a babyface so Zac doesn't really bother me. My husband at 40 still gets carded all the time (unlike myself).

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  15. Once I saw Hugh? I looked no further, that's all I needed to know:)

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  16. Ooooh, I like Linda's comment. But as long as Daniel Craig is in there....

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  17. Ed Westwick? Nope...never heard of him. Yes on President Obama. Holy Cow...the hottest President since JFK.

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  18. I had to go take a look at the complete list before commenting. (Click here if you read this and want to see the list.)

    To break it down all scientific-like, there are 2 I like, 6 that are "eh" and 7 "NO"!s. BAH!

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  19. Nearing 40 - that's nothing - I've got (almost) a decade on you. And honestly, I don't find movie men all that.

    My husband is smarter, more athletic and sweeter than any guy I've ever met - at least when you combine the skill sets - and that's the truth - no wonder I've been married over 25 years.

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  20. It might just be an age thing--I swear I saw a cop the other day that would have been perfect for my 14 year old daughter.

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Spill it, reader.