Thursday, January 29, 2009

spongeworthy


Being small-framed has its advantages, except when it comes to buying certain undergarments. Too big around for a training bra, too small for a conventional B cup (even though that's what the Perfect Fit People tell me I should be wearing), too modest for a sheer cup, too shy for Wonderbra-style stuffing. What's a girl to do? My battles to find the Perfect Fit are legendary. I've tried A, AA, B, A/B. Over the years I've tried Victoria's Secret, Playtex, Gap Body and Warner. I've waged war against slipping straps, bunching cups, gaping cups, chafing under the arms and the bra that inexplicably rode up my torso every time I twisted my body. Implants might make bra shopping less of a chore--but it'd be cheaper and less painful to have bras custom-made--if there is such a thing.

A year ago I found a t-back bra at Target and by golly for less than $20 it FIT! The cups didn't gape or buckle and they were lined just right. I loved my discovery and it pleased me so to slip it on. It had a front clasp, the straps never slid (advantages of the t-back straps) and the soft cotton fabric didn't chafe. With support I could count on, I felt confident and alluring!

And then? My bra disappeared. Seriously. We do not lose things in this house. The clutter is minimal, stuff is organized. Yet I cannot find this damn bra. I shook out drawers, laundry, towels and turtlenecks in search of the Perfect Fit. No dice.

How can my underwear simply disappear? It defies logic. Two months have passed and my bra has not turned up. But I've learned my lesson--I was foolish to buy only one. Every woman knows when you find something that fits just right--jeans, shoes, bras, swimsuits--you buy the rack so you're set for life. And you buy the rack just in case they stop making it! If you see a woman pushing a shopping cart full of t-back bras through Target later today, that'd be me, stocking up for the rest of my life.

What have you stocked up on just in case? Or worse, what should you have stocked up on?

***
I've mentioned what a joy it is to have Mr. B as my son--he's trouble (I caught him sniffing gasoline when he was 3 years old), he's expensive (his plumbing issues have cost us $1000), but he brought home this comment on his report card yesterday with all high marks and it made me burst with pride:

Mr. B has shown improvement in several areas and has a strong grasp of basic skills. I look forward to his enthusiastic attitude and stories each day.

27 comments:

  1. If I like anything it's literally the kiss of death (immediately discontinued, etc.), so I have to be sly about stocking up so nobody knows I like it. Or poof. It's history.

    I must try that bra. I am in the same boat here, as are the girls.

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  2. Speaking of bras, I live in fear of the day that Goddess discontinues the style of bra I wear. I am...well, I am at the other end of the bra-fitting spectrum and I also find it very difficult to find one that fits well, does what it is supposed to do, and is relatively comfortable. I have worn the same bra style for about 20 years, I think - if Goddess ever stops making them, I may have to give up bras altogether...and the world is not ready for that!

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  3. Kids are suuuuch a joy. Love that he has great stories and an attitude to match.

    Stocking up: I buy pants in bulk. When I find one pair I like, I buy three 'cause it's soooo rare to find anything I like.

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  4. Great Job, Mr. B! (He seems to have found a teacher who appreciates his 'talents'.)

    As for 'stocking up', anytime I buy bras, I have to try on practically every one in the store. Then, I buy one in every color I will use -- two if I can -- so I'm set and don't have to go bra shopping for a couple of years!

    I think the weirdest thing I buy up 'just in case', though, has to be Thai Fish Sauce (which, if you know anything about Thai cooking is the juice from fermented fish. It is potent.) Because I live in the great anglo-german flatlands of America, it's rare that I ever find it. When I do, I buy like four bottles of the stuff. When we cook Thai, the recipe just can't go without it.

    I know. Kooky, huh? - Julia

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  5. I purchase tights like they will never be made again. As a plus size woman, finding tights that fit is sometimes a challenge. Kmart has a great pair for under $5I have over 10 new pairs just waiting. Crazy huh?

    Oh yeah, and Brachs jelly beans- the regular ones. I only like Brachs and I can only find them during the Easter season

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  6. Check the corners of your folded fitted sheets, they are a great place for bras to hide.
    I unfortunately stock up on everything.
    Your Pal,
    Linda
    P.S. Gasoline does smell pretty good.

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  7. After years of searching, I finally found that (of all things) Fruit of the Loom actually make one style of bra that FITS the non-implant inclined, Mom-of-three bustline that precedes me in life. I have a pile of them in a drawer. I may just buy another one or two after reading this post though.

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  8. Bra Poltergeist. That's all I'm sayin.'

    I also shop in bulk whenever possible. I absolutely hate shopping for shoes. What a total waste of time. Of course, I don't like shopping, in general. I have been known to buy several pairs of shoes in all the colors needed so I won't have to do that again for awhile.

    And I really like buying big household necessities at Costco. I mean, we are set on the Brita filters for at least another year or 2. Now, if I could only convince Hubby to buy me some jewelry in bulk. :-)

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  9. I've found several "staple" shirts that I've bought in several colors because they meet my criteria for a good shirt: 1) machine washable 2) NOT 100% cotton 3) they fit me well and 4) they were inexpensive. I have three short sleeve sweater shirt things from Target, four 3/4 sleeve v-neck tees from Old Navy and my most recent score? Two cable knit sweaters from the Gap Outlet - one in white, one in charcoal. $8/ea.

    I hope you find your bras! I know out of all the bras I have there's one that's my FAVE and I'll be SO SAD when it finally disintegrates from use!

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  10. Go Mr. B! Lil rock star!

    I hope you find your bra again! There's nothing better than a good bra and nothing worse than a bad one!

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  11. Check your suitcase, especially that zipper pocket on the outside. I usually find something interesting in there when I'm packing for a trip.

    The thing about bras is that you have to wear it awhile before you realize it is a great bra. Then you go back to the store to stock up and it's gone! Then you buy that other bra that might work and it makes you all pointy. Drives me crazy!!

    I had a lipstick that I loved. Wore it all the time. They stopped making it and replaced it with a lipstick that has a lip plumper in it. I didn't realize it and bought the new one. All of a sudden my lips were fat and chapped! Went back to chapstick and I'm ok.

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  12. I have the same prob with bras the only time they fit OK was when nursing.

    I have a favorite pair of undies, I think I'll post about it. I love them like you love your bra.

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  13. I'm with Violet, my bra issues are different from yours. But I have found one that I love and I buy in bulk. Unfortunately, that means that they all go out (the underwires snap) at the same time. I've lost three in the past two weeks. So I just placed another bulk order that should last a few years.

    I also stock up on my favorite Target t-shirts, which I wear every day, all year. Long sleeve and short sleeve -- I stockpile in spring and fall.

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  14. By the way, I *LOVE* the title of this post!

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  15. I'll sometimes buy jeans that way, and maybe toothpaste and deodorant - 6-12 at a time. Work t-shirts, too.

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  16. Well, like you (and apparently many others) bras are a serious challenge. It used to be the whole problem of not finding a nice one that fit properly because of being too large. Then I had a reduction surgery and took care of that problem. Now, ten years later, 'the girls' tend to have another problem of not wanting to stay in their place... old age and some lack of uh, definition beneath them I guess, means they want to just slide out from under the thing. I know - TMI. So I'm now stocking up any time I find a bra in which they'll behave. *ahem*

    Also - I'm a freak about pens. If they don't clump or skip and write fast, I might go back and buy in bulk. And notebooks. Although I've gotten much better about this in recent years.

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  17. My guess is that evil winter static cling has your missing bra stuck to a bed sheet or inside the leg/arm of a pair of pants/shirt. Not that anything like this has ever happend to me.

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  18. I've got that same small frame problem. I feel your pain! :)

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  19. Oh ... bras. Yuck. Right now, I'm in love with Chantelle and keep telling myself that $70 isn't too much to spend on a bra. Because really? When you're desperate, no amount of money is too great when it comes to the girls.

    I stocked up on hair pomade when I was told it was being discontinued. It makes me feel more secure about the future.

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  20. Yeah for the report card! And where's the GPS on that bra? You know you'll find it as soon as you replace it.

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  21. What a great comment for Mr. B! It makes me smile for you both! Thank you so much for the award and comments--you made me blush and puff up a bit! It's so nice to get positive feedback from those whose writing you respect and enjoy!

    Your bra woes are very similar to mine. I am an A although since I had Babou I am maybe closer to a B but am so bigger around now so it is hard. I found a bra I like a lot at Target too, it was O'Malley brand and it is a 36B and fits like a charm--lacy and a little padded but not too much.

    This is how much a nerd I am--the last thing that I kicked myself for not getting more of were...tuberose bulbs! I hate clothes shopping but love clothes so I live in constant agony! I always say if I am ever rich the first thing I will do is hire a personal shopper/stylist. Still waiting for that day!

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  22. I am the ultimate stocker-upper. I do it with clothes and food--the food ends up biting me when the kids decide they're tired of something (Trader Joe's Chocolate Soy Milk comes to mind) and I'm left with a cupboardful of it.

    Rockin' teacher comment!

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  23. What a mystery. Very strange. Are you sure you kids didn't use it as a slingshot?
    As far as stocking up...hmm...my only thing is picante sauce. Maybe it was our time in France that did it. We couldn't get it there so I'd bring it back in the suitcase.

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  24. Seriously? Am I the only person who picked up on the title's allusion?

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  25. He's probably telling stories about his mom going to buy 72 bras! ;-)

    I stocked up on my favorite wig, (3 of them!) just in case they're discontinued before my hair grows back. (seriously).

    I WISH I'd have stocked up on my favorite jeans. I have two pair, but I can only find them in the same color...I want a different wash.

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  26. I think we have the EXACT same chest size. And the exact same problems!! I found an X back bra at Target a month ago (slipping straps is a HUGE problem for me) on clearance and I bought FOUR of them!!! It quadrupled the number of bras in my drawer. ;)

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  27. Digging the spongeworthy reference!

    Don't really know what I would stockpile...

    Congrats, proud mama, on a good report card!

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Spill it, reader.