Thursday, February 5, 2009

don't & won't

I realized the other day that while I don't ever buy the following items, they always seem to be on hand when I need them: screwdrivers, paper clips and rubber bands.

TV shows I won't watch a single episode of include: American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Bachelor/ette, Amazing Race, Survivor, Biggest Loser, really any reality TV show with the sole exception of The Apprentice which is now super-stupid, Lost, Brothers & Sisters, Grey's Anatomy, Today Show, Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, and whatever the show is with that annoying Howie Mandel. Additionally, we never watch hockey, tennis, bowling, soccer, car racing, the NBA, music awards shows, MTV, VH1, QVC, E!, WE, CMN, CNN, Oxygen, Lifetime or Cartoon Network at our house. Ever.For a RACE, they sure drive in circles for a long time.

I miss Mrs. G and Derfwad Manor--I'm anxious for her return. The blogosphere seem a bit emptier since she's been gone. I don't like it one bit.

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day at our house. The boys bring cards to their classroooms at school and I dutifully sign a couple of cards for grandparents. That's it.

Mr. D won't bring me flowers...and I won't buy him a satin thong.

I don't get the appeal of Vince Vaughn. He reminds me of the super-cocky cool guys in college and high school--the ones that were adored for no real reason other than being tall. The perception that they were somehow superior was based on nothing much. Mind you, I've never met Vince Vaughn, but this is the vibe I get. I don't find him interesting, sexy or particularly funny.
Ummmm...no, thanks.
I tried once to watch John & Kate Plus 8 and got bored after 5 minutes. I know people who adore this show. I don't get it. I'd rather watch reruns of Seinfeld or Malcolm in the Middle.

I don't understand my who wanted to go on Wife Swap so that her family would stop taking her for granted. I don't understand how setting your entire family up for humiliation on national television solves any problems. Seems it would be easier to just stop doing favors or take a part time job. Besides, from what I can tell, the folks on Wife Swap go back home feeling more validated about who they are anyway. What does that solve?

I don't drink soda, buy white bread, eat scrambled eggs (except in an omlette), wear perfume, use nail polish, or need glasses. I won't smoke, drink brandy or rum, order white rice or veal, apply Miracle Gro to my gardens, want jewelry for a present or drive an SUV.

I won't support the NRA--in fact, I wish they'd go away. This said, Mr. D owns guns for hunting.
The Second Amendment is sorely misinterpreted anymore.
What won't you or don't you do?

19 comments:

  1. I don't ever want fancy jewelry, but I never say no to something made by my friend Lori.

    I'm with you on reality TV shows. Don't. Get. Them.

    A Vince Vaughn story: A friend of mine was an extra on one of his movies. Apparently, he's an even bigger oaf than either you or I imagined.

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  2. I don't watch sports... I never really have, I guess having successfully avoided involvement in High School kind of left me inoculated against it. Now that I'm grown I take pride in not having to bend my schedule around anything on the tv.

    I think it's funny what you say about Vince Vaughn, to me he just looks scrungy,

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  3. I don't use plastic bags in stores, I don't drive when I can walk, I won't have anything to do with the Jones, I (try) won't let anything interfere with enjoying life, I won't stand for b@#&^$.

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  4. I don't think Vince Vaughan looks cool -- I think he looks like a doofus.

    I don't pay for someone else to shovel my walk, clean my bathrooms, or do my car repair. That's what husbands are for.

    I won't buy spaghetti sauce in a jar. My grandmother would be so disappointed.

    I don't watch NASCAR, Rock of Love, Professional Wrestling, Soap operas, Oprah, or American Idol.

    I won't pass up a chance to go on a date with my husband. Therefore, Valentine's day is celebrated at our house.

    Finally, I won't forget to tell you how much I enjoy your blog every day. I do. :D

    - Julia

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  5. I love reality TV shows. :) Somehow they make me feel more normal?

    I don't watch sports on TV. I won't ever sleep in the woods again. (though I love the other aspects of camping)

    I don't work full time and I hope I won't ever.

    I won't wash my hair more often than every other day ~ especially in this dry climate.

    I don't like spiders.

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  6. I don't play sports or go to the gym (but I do walk and walk and walk.)

    I won't quit drinking coffee even though my hubby is about to quit for the 5th time in our married life.

    I won't spend more than 5 minutes on my hair or make up.

    I won't read things that I know will depress me. Life's too short. :)

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  7. I'm with you on the NASCAR and the Valentine's Day. Ick.

    I won't wear fingernail polish, leather pants or mini skirts. I don't drink tequilla (anymore) or eat catfish. And I don't watch horror movies or professional basketball. I'm sure there's more...

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  8. I wouldn't do Vince Vaughn, that's for sure--- oh sorry, you said WHAT won't/don't you do.
    I don't pay attention to the New York Times Best Seller List, at least not since a certain talk show host/philanthropist? began single-handedly skewing it.

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  9. I don't buy jarred pesto (it's so easy to make!).

    I do bake cookies for new neighbors.

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  10. No, I don't get Vince Vaughn either. He just doesn't do it for me. I don't do most reality shows but confess to having a weakness for Dancing with the Stars because I love the dancing. I also watch ice skating...

    I don't wear makeup, hardly ever, moisturizer doesn't count.

    I don't fall asleep at night without telling Doc I love him.

    I won't EVER have my bikini line waxed again; once was enough.

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  11. I actually got an email from the casting director of Wife Swap. She had read my blog and wanted to know if i was interested in trying out for the show.
    Not. A. Stinkin'. Chance.
    The whole premise of the show is offensive.

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  12. I don't eat steak tar-tar. I don't eat black licorice. I don't eat liver.

    Why is mine all about food?...

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  13. I won't get a tattoo. I won't watch CSI/Victim Unit type shows. I don't cuss on purpose (though sometimes it just slips out).

    Vince Vaughn=Gross. Guys with big heads (literally, he's got a huge noggin) don't appeal to me.

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  14. I'm with you on this one - esp Vince....too cocky is right!

    Mrs G.....why no blogging? Is she ok?

    H
    xx

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  15. I've never seen an episode of ER or Grey's Anoatomy. I don't get the appeal of those.

    I've never been tempted to pierce anything other than my ears.

    I have to agree on the Vince Vaughn thing.

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  16. I rather suspect my don'ts are all possible and my won'ts could become woulds under the right (or wrong!) circumstances.

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  17. I've been brewing a post like this for a few weeks. It's more like...

    I won't eat messy food with my fingers.
    I won't eat food that has touched a jalapeno pepper.
    I won't watch Fox News.

    Have you met me? My name is Molly McQuirky.

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  18. I will never take "martial arts" lessons or instruction. I won't bear a child. I will never wear a 'butterfly-clip' style ponytail holder, nor wear my sweatpants in public.

    Vince Vaughn can succkk itt. He has zero charisma. Let him ride off into the sunset with squinty-eyed renee zellwegger.

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  19. Wow.

    Guilty of some of the shows, but only in a pure entertainment/make me feel better about my life kind of way.

    I won't wear perfume either. Don't like too. I don't dye my hair, shave my legs for my husband, or feel bad when I tell my boys "no". On that train of thought, I also won't feel bad about having an epidural and for not breastfeeding my boys longer.

    Now am drawing a blank.

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Spill it, reader.