Thursday, February 12, 2009

would you like more tea before I turn your bed down, sir?

Yesterday in the Momvan:

Mr. T: You know, if we had a swamp in our back yard, we could be really rich.

Me: How's that, buddy?

Mr. T: Well, we could take a bunch of dead animals and throw them in the swamp. Then they'd sink to the bottom and after hundreds of years they'd turn into fossils and people would buy them for coal and fuel.

Me: Presuming we live to be hundreds of years old, of course.

Mr. T: Yeah.

I don't think I need to worry about Mr. T getting sucked into a Ponzi scheme with his get-rich-slow plans!

***

In the aforementioned Momvan en route to karate lesson:

Me: Tomorrow is your hundredth day of kindergarten. I bet you're really excited.

Mr. B: I am! You know what we talked about today? What we'd do with a hundred dollars. What would you do with a hundred dollars, Mom?

Me: I'd spend it taking you guys to a movie, bowling and then out to eat.

Mr. B: Cool. Do you know what I would do if I had a hundred dollars?

Me: What?

Mr. B: I'd buy a butler.

Me: (laughing) Why would you buy a butler?

Mr. B: Because then he'd have to do everything for us. He'd make us food, take us places in a limo, you know, just do everything we wanted.

Me: Huh.

Mr. B: We have a room--our butler could stay in the extra bedroom.


May I turn on PBS Kids for you while you eat your Cheerios, sir?

17 comments:

  1. Don't forget to pay social security ahd workers compensation for that Butler--Yah know, a butler would be handy when you are around the pool.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You need a Pool Boy!!!

    My girls want a maid so that I won't keep nagging them to pick up their dirty laundry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish 100 dollars actually went that far. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Precious!
    I love those conversations. And I want a butler too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i love that he thinks he can buy a butler for $100!!!!

    i would so love to have a butler.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is it just me, or does his butler sound suspiciously like a teensy part of the Mommy job description?!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Buying a butler.

    I think I love that kid.

    What a hundred bucks won't buy these days!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My son brought home his If I had $100 I would ... page yesterday.

    Apparently, he would buy a real train.

    We talked about it and he said he's always wanted to be an engineer -- not like Daddy, though. A real engineer. You know, the kind that drives a train.

    I didn't tell Daddy about our conversation. He would be so sad to find out he wasn't a real engineer.

    ;)

    - Julia

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm totally using my $100 to get a butler. Can he share with me the company he uses?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ha!

    Does Mr. B. realize that - ahem - YOU do everything he describes the butler doing? The food? The driving? The general servatude?

    No? Yeah, I figured. At least he doesn't expect you to wear a tux.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's $100.00 more than I got paid last year.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love that. Where'd he even see a butler? It's usually a maid?...isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  13. See, he wants you to be free to hang with them! Get someone else to do the work. What a thoughtful child :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, if only $100 went as far as kids think it does.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a scream - I'd love a Jeeves!

    ReplyDelete
  16. So cute! Maybe he can buy you a butler when you get older.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi - I was just digging around over here and I am laughing out loud at the swamp comments.

    We have a swamp. The lower one third of our property is DNR protected wetland. You understand, don't you? We own it, we pay the taxes on it but it isn't really ours because it belongs to the DNR.

    And it has no bottom. If you can get anywhere near it by walking on the bog-like edges you start to sink fast. It is spring fed and never freezes solid.

    I imagine that it is where our state's mafia through union leaders that don't cooperate. I imagine that in summer it will get hot enough and a arm or leg will bubble up to the surface and the squint squad from Bones will show up and I will be torn between David and Booth. I don't want to be put in that situation but I will deal with it if I am dealt it.

    Anytime you want to bring your family to visit a real Wisconsin swamp and throw some dead animals in it feel free to head on over to my place. Just make sure the animals are really dead because I don't want to end up saving more lives and being responsible.

    P.S. It really bugs me when I write an entire post in someone else's comment section. I am sure you don't mind but then I get back home to my blog and I've got nothing to say.

    ReplyDelete

Spill it, reader.