Tuesday, March 17, 2009

of handymen and holidays

Yesterday I made 2 phone calls--one to a new handyman referred by our local lumberyard who showed up at my door a few hours later. Mr. W is a delightful middle-aged Dutchman with rosy cheeks and a hearty laugh that punctuated every other sentence. I wanted to invite him to move in with us--he embodied the grandpa of my dreams. He took notes and measurements of the projects I want done and promised to call with a quote--he knew exactly what to do to fix things around here and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when he drove off. Our last handyman ripped us off on the final job he did for us a few years back and we haven't called anyone since (aside from our plumber who is an absolute angel). The last job went over both deadline and budget. Our old handyman usually showed up hungover, hairy and wearing a t-shirt with the logo of a local "adult" video store across the back. I'd silently thank God that my boys couldn't read yet whenever he wore that shirt. It's good to feel optimistic about a new hire.

The second phone call was to "M." This is Green Girl--you did the excavating and connected us to city water last fall? Yes, well, I wondered if you could help me with patching up the lawn and level out the area where my vegetable garden is going to go--that sort of thing. Can you come by so I can walk you through the project I have in mind and then you can write up a quote? Today or Wednesday is good.

The phone rang last night (before the 9:00 hour, Jen!). It was M, he asked to speak with Mr. D. I handed over the phone and listened to Mr. D's half of the conversation. There he sat going over the details of the job I'd called him about, confirming that he'd do the work and what it might cost.

Ummmm, dude? I called you, not Mr. D. The fact that you just called back to talk specifically to Mr. D about everything we discussed leads me to draw one of two conclusions:

a) You're under the impression that Mr. D is the Alpha Male of our household and any and all planning and purchasing must get his approval. I, on the other hand, am the "little lady" who can't be trusted to handle such "important issues" as hiring a landscaper/excavator to help me complete the work of the yard I have planned. You had to call Mr. D to confirm that what I told you is what we really want.

b) You're overwhelmed by my beauty and general awesomeness and you're more comfortable talking turkey with Mr. D who is not cursed with my level of charm and brilliance. Tongue-tied in my presence, you can communicate only with Mr. D who lends the discussion no such distraction.

I made shamrock cupcakes for Mr. B's kindergarten class--in blatant violation of the Healthy Treats Policy. They turned out okay--but I'm not posting pictures because I know most of you read Saucy's blog and I'd be embarrassed by any comparison. I also remembered to leave chocolate coins in the boys' leprechaun traps. Now they're conspiring to capture the Easter Bunny and demand marshmallow shooters for Easter.
Dream big, boys. Dream big..


  1. I love marshmallow shooters!

    I can't believe the contractor wouldn't talk to you about your project.

  2. I was shopping for a car and the salesman kept saying bring your husband in. I kept saying the car is for ME and if I like it my husband will be fine with it. He didn't want to talk any prices with me. I don't know if he didn't like my approach or couldn't deal with a woman. Hello? I thought it was 2009, not 1909!

  3. On a Thursday night, our handyman finished for the day, looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'll be back Monday morning to finish the job." That was five years ago. We haven't seen him since. Can you send your new guy over here?

  4. I hate the "little lady" treatment. Rude.

  5. OOOH GRRRRRRR....that male habit drives me completely potty....why can most men only listen to men?

    Can you hear my teeth gnashing?

  6. My husband is my handyman.

    He *always* talks directly to me. Calling and asking for my husband would be too... schizophrenic.


    The side benefit is I get to have the handyman fantasy whenever I want... and he only shows up hung over if I am also hung over. (hee hee)

    - Julia

  7. I'm going with beauty and general awesomeness! You blew him away.

  8. Definitely "b" - no question about it.

    Marshmallow shooters are awesome toys. Also, get the book "Backyard Ballistics" - dads and sons love it.

  9. Yikes. Sexism is alive and well, darn it.

  10. That annoys me about as much as when women say, "I don't think my husband will let me." WTF?!

  11. very nice to meet a fellow outdoor lover!
    I live on a farm and my sister actually lives in WI!

    come on over and say hi!

  12. You should have seen the look on the guys' faces the first time I walked into the local feed mill and ordered my own mix of feed......stunned and unsure what this creature was:) But now we are all great friends and they get quite a kick out of me.

  13. I wish your husband had started the conversation with the contractor and then stopped him and said, "Actually, I don't understand any of this stuff. Let me hand the phone over to my wife; this is her department."

  14. It does seem to confuse some workmen when my mister directs them to me for an outline of what I want done. The ones who cannot seem to communicate with the female of the species are generally not able to enjoy our business.

  15. Sooooooo, will you be hiring "M" or keep looking for someone who isn't sexist?

  16. I heard about the "healthy treats" mandate for schools. It's ridiculous. Apples for birthdays instead of cupcakes? Puh-lease.

    The school lunches are so full of fat and calories that THEY should be looked at first, not the random odd "treat" students bring in!


Spill it, reader.