Tuesday, March 31, 2009

other fish in the sea

Who knew that my undying admiration for Garrison (Secret Ugly Boyfriend #2) would end up in a catfight? Reading my comments yesterday I thought I'd have to turn the garden hose on Mary Alice and Suburban Correspondent! And then Mom on the Run starts laying claim on GK's hangdog face. Sheesh--you think you're safe nursing a crush on an ugly guy, but it turns out most women agree: Looks Don't Matter Most. Personality, intelligence and humor are what we're weighing when granting some guy Secret Boyfriend Status.

Fine, ladies, I'll back off. I'll just like Garrison as a friend.

Besides, I'm thinking about a new candidate--he's not particularly ugly and he has awful taste in music (kind of like Mr. D, actually--he's attractive and horrible taste in music--seriously, he owns Jock Jams I-XXIV). Anyway.

What do you think? Terry Schappert, host of Warriors on the History Channel. We're talking honest-to-goodness-manly-man-ness here, people. His whole show is all about combat and fighting and weapons and military strategy. Testosterone just oozes off this show, but it is positively fascinating. I'm a history buff and I love the depiction of battles in different time periods. Add in lots of awesome re-enactments and a bunch of experts (where do they find these people? Germans and Brits who are "Barbarian Shield Experts" and "Roman Empire Armor Experts"--are these professional titles or merely intense hobbyists that the History Channel contacts for these shows? These experts are always from Europe, so perhaps "Midevial Battle Tactics" is a popular liberal arts degree like we have Communications degrees in America.)
From left to right: Lars, Barbarian Shields Expert; Sven, Barbarian Spears Expert; Thor, Barbarian Armor Expert; Helmut, Barbarian Battle Strategies & Anthropology Expert.

Mr. D and I came across Warriors while he was surfing between NCAA games and the Food Network. We were hooked. It was the Battle of Plataea, 479 B.C. The Spartans were kicking it to the Persians. Last night it was those Barbarians again, Thursday I'll be tuning in to watch English Knights. The show explores all aspects of warrior life--their political climate, their geographical terrain, their weapons (so awesome!) and their battle tactics.

And in the middle of it all is Terry Schappert, this Green Beret/Special Forces dude who is totally jacked about these warriors. He tries to fight in different styles and learns how to use the various weapons and armor--even takes on the warriors to demonstrate how much skill fighting takes. He asks really good questions and narrates the battle's story with incredible enthusiasm. He makes legedary battles in history even more legendary in their awesomeness. Plus, Terry Schappert's in fantastic shape--he's got warrior training, speaks several languages and seems pretty intelligent.
What do you think, readers? Is he Secret Boyfriend Material? Sure, he's not a doctor. He's never even played one on television (like famous Secret Boyfriend George Clooney and Secret Gay Boyfriend Neil Patrick Harris). But he is a licensed paramedic. I'm thinking he's got potential.

25 comments:

  1. I've never even heard of these guys, but they all have potential.

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  2. So, you only like GK you don't like like him. right?

    I suppose you could have TS for you secret BF. I kinda like the guy from dirty jobs-- and then there's Duff from Ace of Cakes and there is Sam Champion and Chris Cuomo of Good Morning America fame..but they are cute..There are so many to choose...I can not forget Randoff Mantooth from Emergency and and and....

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  3. A guy with a spear in a Viking boat???? Ooh, sign me up.

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  4. Don't know how my boys could have missed this one! I'll have to tune in to give you my verdict. In the meantime, my 'special forces' idol is still Bear Grylls.

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  5. That looks like a show my son would have LOVED when he was a little kid. One summer he did an enrichment program where they learned all about knights and castles. They built a cardboard castle in their classroom and made their shields and swords.

    Secret Boyfriends? Jimmy Smits, Richard Gere, Christopher Meloni.

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  6. OK, wait - Neil Patrick Harris is gay?? My gaydar completely missed this one!

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  7. I'll be jumping on that bandwagon. I love terrifically nerdy shows on the History Channel. History Channel International is even better.

    The Naked Archeologist--we even have matching Lands' End luggage.

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  8. OMG! Randolph Mantooth from Emergency--now that is taking me back!

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  9. Oh. My. Geekiness.

    You can't be serious.

    You may as well have a crush on the ridiculous I'll-just-take-a-bite-out-of-a-zebra's-backside-for-survival-purposes guy from Man vs. Wild ... what's his name? Bear Gryllis?

    As far as I'm concerned, I cannot harbor secret crushes on people I would have difficulty hanging around in real life. Anyone who engages in pretend combat of the middle ages falls into the "difficult" category.

    But, since you also asked who I *might* consider as an ugly/geeky man crush, here goes: Anthony Bourdain & Ewan McGregor. As far as secret cutie man crushes, though... Anderson Cooper (even though, well) and Hugh Laurie are my favorites.

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  10. Wait there is a NAKED Archeologist? What channel? What time? What day?

    I also kinda like the guy from Amazing Race

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  11. Wait there is a NAKED Archeologist? What channel? What time? What day?

    I also kinda like the guy from Amazing Race

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  12. you think you're safe nursing a crush on an ugly guy, but it turns out most women agree: Looks Don't Matter Most.

    Sigh. If only men felt the same way.

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  13. Oh Lord. The history channel plays nonstop on our television. I'd probably enjoy it more if it wasn't ALWAYS on!
    They also like Bear Grills (I have no idea if that's spelled right) --I think he rates high on the man-o-meter, as well as the guys from Myth Busters.

    Our four years in France was one big history lesson. It was awesome most of the time--lots of castles and Templar knights, etc. Sometimes when I'd had enough I would snore loudly to my husband. That was my not so secret signal.

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  14. You are right. Looks do not matter. It all has to do with pheromones and can be something simple as the way a man raises an eyebrow that sends us shivering in our boots. I say that if he does it for you (and your husband receives the benefits)....have at it!

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  15. Oh I think I might be able to like him too. Yes, secret boyfriend material for sure.

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  16. Heehee!Brawlin' over GK = too funny. Jack Black ís my secret celeb crush...so charismatic and positive!

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  17. He kind of reminds me of Chris Meloni. Nice.

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  18. I totally thought the latest Ugly Boyfriend was Christopher Meloni.

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  19. 'Tis true that attraction is in more than looks. Your new possible love is fine enough looking, but I'd have to see him in action and hear him talk to know if he's actually attractive!

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  20. I think he's kinda handsome for an Ugly BF candidate. Mine is definitely Hugh Laurie, that hangdog expression, those piercing blue eyes...sigh just thinking of him examining my tidbits~

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  21. not to make you all jealous or anything, but GK is my friend on facebook.

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  22. Sorry to leave the anonymous comments but Google Blog hates me and won't let me sign in under my username! But I have to weigh in and say the two hottest guys on television right now are Jason O'Mara from Life on Mars (best show out now), he's Irish and sooo good looking, can you ask for a better combo? and then Kyle Chandler from Friday Night Lights (that Southern accent and amazing face, ummm). Film actors - love George Clooney, Mel Gibson and because I had the opportunity to spend 37 hours filming Public Enemies with him, I'm a bit gaga over Johnny Depp (he's even nicer and better looking in person than on screen).

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  23. Gee, I forgot what I was going to say when I read that the last commenter spent 37 hours with Johnny Depp.

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  24. I enjoy hearing your homely boyfriend every summer in my backyard!!! He
    does a live show every summer from our nearby music festival.
    Anthony Bourdain anyone???

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  25. We miss out on these things being in Canada, even with an awesome cable package, satellite, and Apple TV I don't get to see LOTS of interesting shows. I will have to trust you on the secret boyfriend stuff.

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Spill it, reader.