Thursday, April 16, 2009

flat

I heard about this on NPR today: Vietnamese officials want to ban karaoke parlors. They say the dancing leads to prostitution and other morally flawed behavior. I'm glad there's no such law on the books in Wisconsin--half of the success of my rendition of ABBA's Dancing Queen (sung in the key of B Flat) is my moves. Without my enthusiastic dance routine (lifted straight from Muriel's Wedding), I'd have been just another crappy singer belting it into the microphone last Friday night. (I told my friends TH and Mr. O that I couldn't sing--but they insisted--and they shared the stage with me so I wasn't craptastic all by myself.)

A Vietnamese health official had recently suggested a law banning small chested women from driving motorcycles. One wonders whether men would be allowed to drive motorcycles under that law--they tend to be even flatter chested than women. The rationale was that small chested women tend to be small. Sheesh. I'd have no chance living there--no motorcycling, no dancing while singing karaoke...

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My dear friend and writing partner Lauren Small is coming to town today for a whirlwind weekend promoting her book Choke Creek. We've got the Bumble Book Club tonight, a local high school tomorrow afternoon, an open house/book reading Sunday and another high school Monday morning. I'm looking forward to introducing her to the glories of my Wisconsin World, including a Friday Night Fish Fry.

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Just heard my kids upstairs in the bathroom. I hollered up that they better remember to flush. Mr. G called back, "I'm just going in to see B's poop! Then we'll flush!" Ah, I love it when they share. No doubt they'll leave a great impression on Lauren...

18 comments:

  1. Oh how I would love to see that rendition of Dancing Queen! The poop... not so much...

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  2. Funny. All of it.

    Enjoy your time with your friend. Hope she likes the yummy fish with a heaping side of local color. ;D

    I've never been a big fan of karaoke. But if they ever ban full-throated top-of-the-lungs crooning behind the wheel of my car, I'm history.

    - Julia

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  3. I could not live in Asia either. Anywhere. Being a scooter-riding, big-t!tt!ed, tattooed white woman, I would thus be
    a) imprisoned for being subversive
    or
    b) accidentally sold into prostitution.
    * ; )
    and hey...! never too early to start learning about proper colon health! *hahaha!*

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  4. Oh! & I love your new header!!
    = D

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  5. A little brotherly love. :)

    Flat chested women can't ride motorcycles - I haven't heard anything much stranger.

    And, outlawing karaoke - sheesh - who thinks these things up?...

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  6. Spring on your banner!

    It sounds like you'll have a full & fun weekend.

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  7. A man who doesn't mind admiring a kid's poop is quite a find! I mean...usually they just act like it's something that will kill them...especially if they find it in a diaper.

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  8. I think those who made up that crazy band *flat* riders. Should be subjected to sit (sober)through several hours of me singing karaoke!!! ;D

    Sweet wishes,
    Sara

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  9. It scares me when a houseguest has to share the bathroom with the kids...
    Enjoy your weekend! A fish fry sounds great.

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  10. Come on--- Everyone knows that karaoke brings out the best in everyone!

    Have a wonderful time on the book tour Melissa!

    PS. love your crocuses.

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  11. "Dancing Queen" is my theme song. :)

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  12. Too funny!

    What bizarre-o rules. I think you should celebrate your freedom by posting a karaoke video--I'd cheer you on!

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  13. Two things:

    One, I'm really glad I don't live in Vietnam.

    Two, you and I might be soul sisters. I walked down the aisle to ABBA when I married Veto. I don't think my guests got it... Muriel's Wedding! They just thought I was a little... flaky.

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  14. I wish you would have youtubed it!

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  15. I have only karaoke'd twice, but I loved it. Seen a lot of poop, though.

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  16. Yes, I think you should record your Dancing Queen and post it for all of us. Much rather have that than a poop pic. ;-)

    And thank you for the Spring boot pic!

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  17. We definitely have to keep Wisconsin free from laws against karaoke! Heaven forbid!

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  18. Oh, how I miss a good fish fry!

    Happy spring!

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