Thursday, May 28, 2009

a business proposition

The equation is already out there:
Produce TV series/film + Produce commercial enterprise = PROFIT.

The NFL makes money off it's logo--splattered across everything from sweatshirts to charcoal grills. Disney World makes as much money off Hannah Montana as they do from lunch boxes, t-shirts and yogurt emblazoned with Miley Cyrus. Marvel Comics sells comic books, cartoons, video games, movies, toys and snack food. The popularity of Nickelodeon TV shows has morphed from toys and breakfast cereal into a vacation destination.

It's no secret that most women in America are huge fans of What Not to Wear. Ask any neighbor, friend, co-worker or relative--we all dream of getting the makeover. Even Green Girl knows that jeans, t-shirt and flip flops are a Glamour Don't, but she hasn't got the professional help to fix herself up. But the odds of getting on WNTW are slim to none--no matter how many times we get our best friend to submit photos of us wearing our mom jeans and flannel shirts to the grocery store.

So here's my proposition: The WNTW Salon. In every major metropolitan area the WNTW Salon will offer the WNTW experience starting at $2,000 on up to make over women who need help without the inconvenience and embarrassment of being on television.
The set up: WNTW Salon consultants have been trained by Stacy London and Clinton Kelly to read a client, assess their needs and recommend fashion fixes for their wardrobe. In their salon they will present clients with a brief questionairre, examine the client's wardrobe and demonstrate their current fashion flaws and faux pas using the WNTW trademark 360 degree mirror. They'll present a computer-generated outline of what the client should wear and take them shopping. After that, a WNTW Salon cosmetologist will advise and demonstrate make up and a stylist will re-do the client's hair. In less than 3 days a woman (or very confident metrosexual man) will walk out confident, stylish and ready to face life with a new look that reflects both their personality and lifestyle. The client will pay for all shopping expenses, $2,000 will purchase the base consultation experience and a 3-hour shopping experience. Clients can pay more money for more extentsive services.

According to my calculations, an annual 250 clients/WNTW Salon will put each venture in the black each year. TLC will take it's cut for extending it's copyright and The Women's Colony will get the rest of the profits to establish itself firmly and squarely on a 100 acre site in Washington State.


What do you think?

13 comments:

  1. Dude! I'm in. I can handle part of the midwest if properly trained.

    And I can even supply the gay guy as a partner. ;-)

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  2. Hell, I tell people what not wear all the time for FREE. My motto is just because you CAN purchase velour sweatsuits/denim jumpers/holiday sweaters/tube tops/acid washed anything/etc.in a store does not mean you SHOULD.

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  3. This weekend, my best girlfriends and I will be wearing our comfiest olde t-shirts and rattiest shorts, and we will probably not even shave our legs. So there.

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  4. Just because I'm in the menopausal years... doesn't mean I want purple and red as the only color palette in my closet. I refuse to go willingly into the cold color night!

    Sweet wishes,
    Sara

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  5. My daughter has occasionally threatened to turn me in to WNTW.

    I'm MUCH better since I moved to FL. I used to hide seatshirts and baggy jeans under my long winter coat. Not so easy here! Now I feel obligated to look cute when I go shopping.

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  6. I would not be good at this. I have clothes in my closet that went out of style 30 years ago :(

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  7. I actually know what to wear. I just need Clinton and Stacy's $5,000 Mastercard to go buy it!

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  8. I am prepared to douse my entire wardrobe with lighter fluid every Friday night when the show comes on. I never understand the women complaining on the show, go ahead Nick and shave my head.
    The only draw back is the public humiliation. Your idea is perfect and takes the national audience out of the equation. Looks like you've started a business. Do you need the number for the Small Business Association?

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  9. I love this. You have an entreprenurial brain--and deserve a huge chunk of the profits.

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  10. I'd sign up. It sounds like a fantastic plan to me. Now you just have to get started.

    -Abby

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  11. I always knew you were a genius :)

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  12. This idea is simply ingenious! When do we start? I will open a Canadian franchise location, it will be JAM PACKED, trust me. There is a lot of fleece and flannel around here that must be put to rest.

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Spill it, reader.