Wednesday, July 22, 2009

a gummy worm

Time: 12:28 yesterday afternoon. Location: checkout lane 5 at grocery store. Mr. G and Mr. B beg Green Girl to spend their money on gum. She argues that their track record with gum is filled with remorse and recrimination (remember the time you lost half your bangs 2 years ago, Mr. B? remember how we had to cut it out of your bedroom carpet that time last fall?) We promise! We'll be good! Where does gum go? In the garbage or in your mouth! NOT in your bedroom or anywhere else right? Not on the floor, not in your bed, not under my furniture. Yes. Only in our mouth or in the garbage.

Time: 1:23 this morning. Location: next to Green Girl's bed. Mr. G wakes her up sobbing. I'm all sticky. There's gum all over my bed. Green Girl rolls over and drags him into the bathroom where she rubs his arms, torso, hands and face free of gum with a washcloth dipped in rubbing alcohol. She strips off his gummed-up pajama pants and bundles him into the sleeping bag she keeps next to her bed. She doesn't have to courage to face his bedding until later in the day.

Mr. G might be a gummy little worm, but Green Girl?

14 comments:

  1. Rubbing alcohol . . . ?

    I hadn't heard that one.

    I learn something new every day visiting your blog :)

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  2. goo gone. It's not organic, granted, but it works wonders.

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  3. We have a part two to the rules:

    Gum is put in a piece of paper BEFORE it goes in the trashcan. Otherwise, the gum invariably misses the bag and sticks to the can.

    Since there's a recycling bin full of paper next to the trash, it's easy for Certain People to rip off a small piece and use it to cover the sticky stuff before it's thrown away.

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  4. Can you believe I have no first-hand gum stories? I guess I'm no dum-dum.

    I hope the hair was okay.

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  5. Ohhh.

    You're not a dum dum. You were just giving them an opportunity to succeed, just like any good manager.

    Hope the bedding wasn't a total disaster.

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  6. No fun at all. Gum and me are enemies. I've no patience for it. Sadly I don't even try to recover clothing or bedding covered in gum. My son left gum in his pocket and I ended up sewing the pocket closed and cutting off the offending hunk of material.

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  7. You are hilarious.
    I'm so sorry about the gum. We used to use peanut butter to get it out of Sarah's hair. It worked, but it killed my appetite for gum for the rest of my life. I'm not kidding. I haven't chewed any in 15 years.

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  8. Regular butter works on the hair also, but I don't know about sheets. I have plenty of experience with this. Braces have cured this problem, if only temporarily.

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  9. Be thankful it hasn't gone through the dryer - not that I know anything about that...

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  10. Forgive me for snorting aloud when I read this. I haven't experienced this one... yet! ;)

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  11. Peanut butter gets gum out of everything! But then you have to get the peanut butter out....

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Spill it, reader.