Wednesday, October 21, 2009

ms. rantypants today

* The woman who comes to every Happyland Elementary PTA meeting with Really Stupid Ideas that create a gigantic Time Suck during a crammed agenda. She wants to discuss "staff putting a charity down as a place to donate instead of people spending money on Christmas gifts for them." Ummmm...no one here is comfortable dictating this kind of idea to the teachers, and shouldn't this idea come from them anyway? But sure, let's spend fifteen minutes talking about how charitable donations are better than coffee mugs and hand lotion and debate the merits of various local charities. Planning next month's parent/teacher conference meals for the teachers can totally wait.

* It's also a giant Time Suck to spend 20 minutes on another Really Stupid Idea to promote Market Day pies in November by having a inter-classroom competition to see which class can buy the most pies for the food pantry. The teachers can sell pie slices for a dollar each and then add up the total pies and the winning classroom can get a treat! Wouldn't it be FUN for the kids to compare pies during recess and see who can come up with the most money? And what an opportunity to teach FRACTIONS! Nevermind that there's state testing and 3 holiday breaks that month--I'm sure the teachers have nothing better to do in their classrooms than manage some stupid PTA thingy. Oh, wipe the pout off your face, your Really Stupid Ideas are Really Stupid. Deal with veto power.

* The Lia Sophia lady who wants me to book her for an event I'm not even in charge of. Yes, you read that correctly. She's hounding me to get her hooked up with a women's shopping day event. For the high school pom and dance team. With which I am not in any way affiliated. Why? Because the Happyland Elementary PTA isn't doing a women's shopping day event and of course I should redirect potential vendors in my spare time.

* Snow? I haven't even washed screens and windows yet, and the one day it was warm enough, the wasps and flies were headbutting our house trying to get inside--obviously I'm not going to take off my screens and wash them when every insect for five miles around is seeking shelter. Mother Nature, you need to be more accommodating for my fall cleaning schedule.

* I don't get how the Pentagon can hemorrhage money by the billions while the USDA is nitpicking over a row of trees planted in our CRP program--the official paperwork said we were to plant grass, but the map they gave us two years ago and the actual GPS boundaries look different. We need to rent a green chopper and clear out the perimeter of our Back 40 woods STAT. Seriously, if every government agency were as stingy with nickels and dimes the way the USDA is, we'd have money in the Treasury. Our CRP benefits amount to less than $2,000 a year. Ironically, if we'd just develop the property and sell it off in half-acre lots, we'd probably make $250,000 off the same property. So between the money and the bullshit work I have to do for the USDA to meet their requirements? I'm not feeling the incentive to do the better thing for our environment.

* Among bullshit work I have to do for the CRP: weed-whack around 1,900 tree seedlings. Yes, you read that correctly. Even though when I agreed to plant the trees I made sure that our only obligation was to mow between the rows once or twice a year. The field grew over with invasive reed canary grass. The trees are doing fine but we've had to mow (actually, Mr. D mowed, no one else is allowed to touch his lawn mower. Some men have beer can collections, some men have a vintage sports car, Mr. D has a TORO Timecutter.) three times our original agreement--far beyond the language of the contract. And now, NOW they're telling me to cut down the growth around every single tree. In my spare time. I've spent hours out there already and I'm probably 1/3 done.

* Mr. G is still insisting on a three-headed snake costume. I'm struggling just making a King Cobra outfit with ONE head. I keep telling him I'm not crafty, this request is beyond the considerable extent of my talents. He keeps ignoring me.

* I'd get going on insurance companies, but I have 3 yards of black satin to sew into a snake costume and time's a wasting.

Spill it, reader, what's got you feeling Ms. Rantypant-ish today?

14 comments:

  1. Advanced Placement level students who plagarized a 30 point project. Serioulsy? SERIOULSY???? You got a 5 on one of the hardest AP test the AP offers, and yet you couldn't write a lousy little Idiot's Guide to Medieval Hierarchy? A little project you could have flipped easily over, because you are smart, but instead you decide to plagarize and now i have to deal with admin and parents and other crud.

    {Grunt} Kids drive me crazy.

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  2. My rantypants day happened on Saturday when I was in the crosswalk of my local Target with my brood of children - when a guy in a big black Yukon blew through the stop sign that was on the other side of aforementioned crosswalk and then looked at me in an annoyed fashion for actually having to stop for me an my children. I noticed he had his window rolled down, so I yelled "Yeah, that was a STOP SIGN back there!" My husband tells me not to do stuff like that because I might get shot - but whatever - the guy was a douchebag and I didn't use obscenities or anything.

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  3. Ummmm, Lets seee. I HAVE yelled at Sam for having to nag him. He is turning me into a nag. Or he is deaf. Or WHAT. But nothing worth ranting about here. Give me a couple of weeks, stuff may be brewing....

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  4. I thought I was going to be ranty today, but it turns out that there's no need.

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  5. My rantypants moment today is all about the assorted people who want just a moment of our time, but who are failing to comprehend that they are only one of a waiting crowd. I need some of that "spare time".

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  6. Thank you for standing up to that crazy lady who was creating work for EVERYONE from PTA members to teachers... she needs to step off.

    I like ranty days. They are good for the soul.

    -Abby

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  7. I'm still ranting about not being able to have a cupcake or cookie at the 3 holiday partys at my son's elementary school!!!!!!!!! RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!! Especially when they sell ice cream, Doritos and fruit roll ups in the cafeteria!

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  8. Does the same woman come to every PTA meeting at every school on the same day? She's like Santa in a minivan.

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  9. Could you just give Mr. G a weedwhacker and tell him THAT'S his costume?

    I'm glad you have this space for ranting; while I think you're charming as you vent, I suspect your blood pressure appreciates the outlet.

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  10. Three headed snake . . . I LOVE it!

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  11. I would like to relinquish my other-imposed role of punching bag a/k/a the-person-everyone-likes-to-dump-all-their-emotional-crap-on. Geez. Oh, and then I am supposed to be level-headed and agree with it all so they will feel justified.

    Another geez.

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  12. Hello? "NEW.SUPER.FUN.IDEAS!!" are presented under "Other", conveniently located at the BOTTOM of the agenda. I’m just sayin’…

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  13. I love it when you get all rantypants! I'm trying to catch up on the posts this week. You just reminded me why I'm not as "green" as you. Too many things to rant about and I would if I had time to myself which I don't so I can't.

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Spill it, reader.