Wednesday, October 7, 2009

spawn

In this parallel universe where I try to design a snake costume for Mr. G, I've asked Mr. T and Mr. B what they want to be for Halloween. For the first year ever we have NOBODY going as Batman which makes me sort of sad. Mr. B wants to be a "bone dude" (ummm, do you mean 'skeleton?' yeah, thought so.) and Mr. T wants to be a vampire. "Like Dracula or a vampire?" (I'm thinking of a biker jacket in the basement--long story--will NOT go there--and how totally kewl my oldest would look as a Blade-style vampire) "Dracula. He's, like, the head vampire and the most powerful so I want to be him."

So faux blood, slicked hair and fangs it is. But we can use last year's Headless Horseman costume with minor modifications.

Meanwhile, Mr. G and Mr. B built giant towers and robots out of blocks and lined up rows of Rescue Heroes and weaponry in the hall outside their room. Getting past this defense is nearly impossible/impassible, and I asked if we couldn't move the entire squadron into the playroom. "Nope. It's so we can hear if anyone comes in our room at night." "But what if you need to get out?" "We won't."

Predictably, at 3:00 a.m. I awoke to falling blocks and clattering plastic--Mr. G had to go to the bathroom and crashed through the entire defense. Naturally, Mr. B slept soundly through the chaos. Mr. G got so freaked out by the obstacle course in the hallway, he backtracked, peed his jammies and changed clothes before returning to bed.

After waking up with a headache and rousing my spawn, I asked Mr. T about the notation at the bottom of his assignment notebook. "What's this about 'white sheets?'" "I don't know." "Well, is it white sheets of paper or white fabric like a white bedsheet?" "No idea. Why don't we just put a white sheet in my backpack?" "Of paper or of fabric?" Mr. T shrugs. "Could that maybe refer to the white progress report I had to sign?" "Where is that?" "I signed it and put it in your folder in your backpack." "Yeah, that's probably it."

I start the washing machine and recite my mantra: KAF. KAF. KAF.*

*Kids Are Fun.

14 comments:

  1. You sure do have BOYS!! Your mantra needs to be BAF. BAF. BAF.
    I love how they collaborate on their games.

    My son had our old HUGE computer desk in his bedroom and all the epic battles took place on top.
    This was a solo effort, since my daughter refused to get involved.

    If you had 3 girls, it wouldn't be much different. Your hallway would be the site of Barbie fashion shows.

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  2. Dealing with the kids' school papers is an ordeal. I've had to establish a strict rule that everything must be given to me and signatures obtained before dinner; otherwise, I'd be signing stuff as we're headed out the door in the morning.

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  3. Oh boys. I wish I could say it gets better. It just gets bigger, stinkier and more expensive.

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  4. I can so relate. I'm currently have a huge fort in the playroom. And no chairs in the kitchen (as they were all used to make the fort)!

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  5. In the interest of convincing your vampire to update his look: show those kids The Lost Boys at some point before halloween and I'll bet you can convince "king of the vampires" to go for that leather jacket after all! Yeah, baby!

    Do not show them Edward Scissorhands unless you want to be making a really complex costume.
    * ; )

    And they really should see the modern version of "Black Beauty" - the scenery on the island where the kid gets stranded...is...gorgeous! And thatlittle kid is very good in the little boy's role. If you plan to read it to them, why not include the DVD viewing before or after..?!

    Your halloween is gonna be lotsa funn...
    * : )

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  6. Thanks, I was just sitting here HATING my job. Now? Not so much. ;)

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  7. I love it! Thanks so much for your comment...glad to know I'm not the only one with 3 crazy boys (or are we crazy to have 3 boys?!?). I'm going to keep that mantra in mind...much nicer then my usual "I have to love them, I have to love them!".

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  8. Oh my goodness. Two boys is about all the testosterone I can take. But then there's my dog and my husband...
    My feet winced at your story, thinking of all the Legos I've stepped on.

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  9. My mantra on days like this? "Never a dull moment. Never a dull moment."

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  10. Does Green Girl herself dress up for Halloween?

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  11. I love Halloween and costumes and kids and trick or treaters and candy corn :-)
    xo

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  12. Yeah, what is it with the homework and paperwork vagueness??? I used to be able to muddle it out, but in a new country I am LOSSST!

    Standing on those little plastic army men in the dead of night: OW!

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  13. My son was Dracula for SEVERAL years in a row. We were able to use the Batman cape he used before that. Recycle, recycle.

    Love the hallway barricade.

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  14. LOL. Kids are fun, at least in retrospect. Frequently the funny stories aren't so funny in the moment.

    I can't wait to have the girl version of your Halloween moment. The one where nobody wants to be a Disney princess.

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Spill it, reader.