Tuesday, November 24, 2009

irony appreciation 101

6:00 D wakes me up and says his car battery is dead. Takes the Momvan to work.
7:00 Get kids to school, mop floors, clean kitchen, make grocery list, hang with Mr. G
9:30 Write post oozing with gratitude and pat self on back for thinking of every little thing I take for granted.
11:15 Cannot reach Mr. D.
11:20 Call friend and cancel lunch plans we'd made a month ago. She is wonderfully understanding. Decide to use entire afternoon to work on manuscript after I bring Mr. G to school.
11:50 D calls, wants to take me to lunch and then jump start his car.
12:00 Bring Mr. G to school, listen to D rant on way to restaurant, lose appetite.
12:40 Return home. D cannot get car to start.
12:45 Go in house to find spare key for his car. This results in emptying all purses and bags, the discovery of many treasures and trash but alas, NO idea where the extra car key is.
1:00 Drive D to auto shop to get him a spare car and arrange for a tow.
1:20 D drives away, but not before mentioning to auto shop owner that his website needs help. He'd promised I'd help him. And indeed, there I am.
1:25 Join Al in his office and listen to his website woes. Yes, his site is a wreck. Yes, I know exactly what he wants to do. Yes, I will help him fix it. Adjust halo and superhero cape while taking good notes.
2:10 Return home to jumble of purses, pens, chapsticks, receipts, change, tampons and broken necklace on kitchen floor. This morphs into cleaning out all purses and entire cupboard where they were stored. Am happy to find $10 bill.
2:25 Determine there is not enough time to work on my manuscript, so read some blogs. Notice the cat is acting strange.
2:50 Pick up children from school, sort backpacks, mail and homework assignments.
3:45 Al calls with more thoughts and ideas about his site. Take more notes.
4:15 Load Momvan to bring Mr. B and Mr. G to karate and go grocery shopping.
5:30 Return home, put away groceries, make supper, prod Mr. T to finish math homework, notice cat is acting odd still.
6:30 Go to karate class with Mr. T. Work on Velocity (hard, but fun) and spar. School is SO hot and I get so sweaty that when an opponent steps on my foot, it literally slides right out of protective foot padding and remains on floor for duration of our round.
7:45 Return home. Really really really want a shower, but must get kids to bed first. Mr. T takes a shower. Tuck everyone in.
8:15 Decide to go to basement to feed cat (who is still acting odd) before take shower. Discover water.
8:17 Learn that the water is actually raw sewage. With actual turds floating around the basement.
8:25 Learn that our sewage goes into a tank which is probably full so it's backing up into our basement through a drain.
8:40 Use neighbor's shower. Because we cannot use our drains without adding to the floaters on our basement floor.
9:15 Realize the great irony of the day: in listing all the little things I take for granted, I considered lights and running water, computers and cars--things that you don't notice until they're lacking or broken. Never, ever, ever thought about sewage and waste and where it goes and how it gets there. Sure appreciate that now, though.

Which leads me to: Part II--20 Things I'm thankful to know...

1. how recognize and appreciate irony.
2. how to drive.
3. where to go for help.
4. who to trust.
5. household management (including how to clean up raw sewage).
6. to ask questions.
7. how to isolate my fears.
8. how to dream.
9. when I should shut up and listen (usually).
10. Jesus.
11. history.
12. how to read.
13. how to teach.
14. how to edit.
15. how to grow stuff.
16. how to bake pies (and make my own crust).
17. how to ride a bike.
18. to say the right thing (sometimes).
19. yoga.
20. the awesomeness of motherhood.

Spill it, reader. What are you thankful to know?
I'm going to the basement now with my bucket of bleach and water. Also thankful to get the name of a plumber who showed up at 7:30 this morning to start fixing the problem downstairs. Here's to flushing and draining!


  1. OH, GG, what a day you had. If that would have happened to me at that time last night, i would have sat down and cried, and probably wouldn't have gotten back up yet.

    Let me know if you need anything.

  2. Really? BLEACH was not on the TOP of your list? ;)

  3. I'm thankful that you do such an amazing job at finding the positive - it encourages me.

  4. I swear yesterday I was going to comment that I was thankful for plumbing, but I thought that was too obvious.
    I'm thankful for plumbing.
    Hope you have a better day.

  5. After reading this post I suppose I'm thankful we're on a city sewer system.

    Keep up the attitude of gratitude.

  6. I feel for you. Cancel out all the stuff that happened before, and the raw sewage would still send me over the edge. Sending hugs to you.

  7. Oh my word, what a day you had.

    We had a major sewer back-up in our old house several years ago, so I feel your pain.

    Today I am thankful that my sewer woes are far behind me.

  8. When was the last time you had your septic pumped? Could this be a more serious issue like a bad drain field?

  9. I'm grateful for the fact that you made turds funny.

    It seems, too, that a big part of what you have to be thankful for is the crew of people who live with you and encounter you--who then get to be grateful to have you in their lives.

  10. finding the irony in everyday matters is a past time of mine....

  11. dude, I thought my sewer rats were a problem. I am BIG time thankful that I have no basement to flood with sewage.

  12. We have cast iron pipes which continue to collapse from the inside leaving stinkiness abounding in our basement. We continue to fix them a section at a time...and yes, you never realize how fortunate you are until something doesn't work.

    Oy, floating turds are about my worst nightmare....even worse than mice and rats, which really do give me bad dreams.

    So sorry.

  13. This is brilliance! The writing, I mean.

  14. Oh, my, goodness. Thankful for a sense of humour too, I bet!

    I've just discovered "rising damp" and am also thankful for bleach. This building is 100 years old.

  15. I hope this was why the cat was acting strange and NOT something else waiting to surprise you tomorrow!



  16. I am thankful for the Green Girl in Wisconsin and the way she always makes me smile!! :)

  17. Well now I am glad for a brand new septic system.


Spill it, reader.