Friday, December 4, 2009

double-yuck

Yesterday I ran downstairs to check on how the astroturf is drying out since the Great Sewer Pump Debacle of '09. A soaked floor greeted me--and a steady stream of liquid pouring out of a cracked pipe connector leading from our new sewer lift pump. I said bad words. I called the plumber. He came immediately and fixed it.

Before I go again to the basement to deal with sewer water, I simply must put on my Ranty-Pants and share:

Things I think are yucky:

Sewer water
Wet socks
Licorice
Howard Stern
Grits
Marigolds
My complexion when I wear orange or even the slightly wrong shade of red
Light beer
"chicken" nuggets (yeah, I'm talking to you, too, soy substitutes!)

and

Tinsel. Actually, tinsel isn't so much yucky as it is tacky. And Mr. D loves it. He sweetly asked a week ago if, now that the boys are older and not inclined to put Christmas ornaments in their mouths, can we have tinsel, please? I caved like a California mudslide. He asks for so little. I've used the "child safety" excuse for over a decade to avoid tinsel on my tree. Sure, honey, this once we can do it for the sake of your nostalgia.

I bought him a box of tinsel and he added it to our tree last night. Then he mentioned that we really needed 3 boxes to make it look right. Which is why I think tinsel is tacky--it COVERS all the decorating on your tree--especially the way he and his kin are prone to using it. Gobbing it on in huge clumps that hide everything beneath and behind--I mean, what's the point?

But I love him. Tacky tinsel and all.

Spill it, reader. What's on your Yuck List?

33 comments:

  1. -cutesy Christmas decorations with simpering teddy bears or angels

    -beer (blech)

    -pillows with sayings on them

    -root beer

    -banana cream pie

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  2. Tiger Woods

    Walking on kitty litter in bare feet in the dark.

    Finding an expensive hunk of cheese, forgotten in the back of the fridge, covered with mold.

    Ants in my car.

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  3. Really ...tinsel...that sucks

    Yucky things are: worms and snakes and bugs and crawling things.

    I can't go into a real butcher shop--the smell makes the throw up--for real--in the bushes outside their front door.

    But the most yucky...body odor.

    Oh yeah Precious Moments figurines and ceramic cats

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  4. to Sarah - please send me your ceramic cats! meow! I collect them! *haha!

    YUCK =
    ~ pregnancy/childbirth stories (truly, I never needed to know the word "episiotomy" )

    ~ little mouse carcasses left by the cat-next-door, partially consumed to varying degrees

    ~ a lady I used to know used to keep her empty catfood cans in her freezer! ew!

    ~ an I.U.D. Blech...does anyone still use those?

    ~ spit containers (spitoons?) of people who chew tobacco

    ~ dog slobber

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  5. Inflatable Christmas decorations.

    Not getting enough sleep on a regular basis.

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  6. -hearing or watching someone file their nails makes me sick to my stomach

    -touching raw chicken

    I love tinsel and convince my husband we have to have it on our tree....it just reminds me of my Grandmother and looks old fashioned to me. Although it may not longer be used due to what happened after my husbands(our) dog ate a couple strands and later when it was coming out the other end it was just hanging out of him all nasty and the dog was freaking out running in circles and my husband was not home to handle the issue!! GROSS!

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  7. I think that you should call a professional to clean up the basement.I can't think of how one could do that the second time in a month--and they can get it drier than you can.

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  8. My Yucky list...

    Clothes... I was born to live in jammies.

    Milk... gags me!!

    Touching raw meat!

    People taking the Lord's name in vain!!!!

    Botox in lips!!

    Hard boiled eggs... actually, egg yolks in any form!

    People who smell like stale cigarette smoke!

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  9. Lord have mercy, I truly loathe tinsel too.

    But I do admit to liking cheesy grits.

    I also like snow days, like we're getting tomorrow. (Fingers crossed!)

    And trips to the library, bakery, cheese shop, and butcher on the day before the snow day. Now I'm ready for anything.

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  10. -made in China
    -plastic
    -people coughing and sneezing without any protection and thus me walking in the store like I just entered the gas chamber (gasp...uuhh...gasp)
    -people judging T.Woods....are you perfect?.....nope, didn't think so

    have a great weekend!!

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  11. I'm gonna go item for item with your list:

    sliminess underfoot (like the bottom of a lake)
    any socks
    gummy bears/worms/anything
    Rush Limbaugh
    stuffing/dressing/bread pudding (basically, anything made with wet bread)
    tulips
    my complexion when I wear yellow
    any beer
    fat-free cheese (and other milk products)
    and
    garland

    I'm not a fan of tinsel, either, although because of the opposite end of the tinsel-usage continuum. My mom could make one box last a decade because she very. very. carefully. places. one. single. strand. at. a. time.

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  12. Grown-ups who wear fuschia or purple animal prints.
    Dog slobber.
    Banana-flavored anything.
    Cleaning out the gasket on my otherwise beloved front-loading washer.

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  13. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I still prefer my sewer rats over your debacles.

    My yucks:
    Toilet talk.
    Toilet cleaning.
    Toilet plunging. (catching a them here?)
    Pudding and other squishy, mushy foods
    Ants, ants, everywhere (have I mentioned that we've had them in the thousands in the last 2 weeks? in our kitchen?)

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  14. I remember mum caving with the tinsel. Then, after Christmas, she asked us to pick up EVERY SINGLE piece of tinsel in the house. It was everywhere. We didn't ask for tinsel the next year. Hint.

    Let's see. Sitting on the toilet in the DARK, because I didn't want to turn the light on because I'm considerate like that, and finding that someone has left the seat up AND PEED ON THE RIM! Oh that just gets mah dander up!

    The gunge that I had to scrape off the bottom of the leaky kitchen sink, so that we could un-leaky it.

    TICKS!

    The dead chickens I used to get under my house- they would crawl waaay up where no-one could reach them and DIE, and ROT with MAGGOTS and the whole works, and you couldn't do a thing about it! Dead chickens smell kinda feathery.

    I'm on a roll here! This is so therapeutic!

    Oh, hope505? I've used IUDs, diaphragms, and every other kind of baby-repellent imaginable. The pill gives me migranes. And morning sickness.

    What else is yucky? Diaphragms are yucky. You smear this gel stuff on them, see, (sperm repellent) and then you GRIP it firmly, and it shoots out across the bathroom counter, invariably ending up behind the toilet. So you fish it out, wash it off and start all over again.

    Babies are yucky too, though.

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  15. Along with tinsel, I think those cheap Christmas earrings are yuck, so why did I just buy some, and wear them along with every other misguided Christmas-shopping woman.I am a mystery to myself.As much as a mystery to myself as the tinsel-arsed dog running around in circles, also thinking "how did that happen, and to MOI???". I'm just pleased the Christmas finery is hanging off my ears, and nowhere else!

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  16. I'd have to say brussel sprouts, York Peppermint Patties and the smell of my son's football cleats!!

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  17. We use to put tons of tinsel on our tree....and I use to do it one strand at a time. I thought it looked awesome. Then we got cats and cats and tinsel don't mix. Now I wouldn't put it on my tree because it takes to long and it falls off and the dogs would eat it. :)

    Yukky....

    The smell of well worn soccer shin guards

    meat

    fake meat

    the meat section at the store

    when people wash dishes and let the water out and don't rinse all the yuck out of the sink

    dogs that think licking you is being friendly...and I have one of those

    I'm sure there are lots more...but that's enough yuck for one night

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  18. Tinsel is right up there with play-doh, confetti and glitter in my book. None of these will ever darken my door.

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  19. Me in any of the colors you mention

    The smear on my right glasses lens

    The smell coming out of my crisper drawer

    The way the tooth went out of my head and into my potato last night at dinner

    The way people look at Big Box places like Wal-mart and Sam's Club

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  20. I'm with you on everything but licorice and marigolds. Admittedly marigolds are not my favourite flower but I wouldn't go so far as to call them yucky.


    Ok. Mine.

    -Dead mice. Especially when deposited on my bed. It's been a year and a half and I still have to check the bed for mice. Once in a state of new-baby delerium I mistook the cat for a large dead mouse and scared the stuffing out of my kids. Double ick points if the mouse isn't dead yet.

    -Lutefisk. I firmly believe that my ancestors left Sweden to find a better land where people didn't have to eat lye-soaked boiled cod with cream sauce. Now Sweden itself is that promised land and the rest of us immigrant grandchildren are stuck pretending to eat lutefisk at Christmas while silently feeding it to the cat under the table.

    -Smelt. It just lays there looking like exactly what it is. A fried dead fish. It's creepy.

    -Bear meat. Especially canned bear meat that you thought was a can of your aunt's lovely home canned sockeye salmon. This has happened to me more than I care to remember.

    -Organ meat in any form other than sausage. I don't actually know for a fact that I don't like this. I just don't like the idea of it. In fact, I really liked menudo until I found out it was made with tripe.

    -Pickled herring.

    These are my only food weirdnesses though. It's astonishing how many times these have come up, though. Especially the bear meat.

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  21. how dare you put sewer water and licorice in the same list? how dare you??? how will i ever splash around in sewer water again?? hahahaha. i mean, how will i ever eat licor-- oh never mind.

    tinsel! my family used to put tinsel on the tree, though i haven't in years because it's such a mess to clean up. but we were always cautioned, one strand at a time. no clumps.

    and that way it did actually look pretty.

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  22. You are too funny! Love your list. xoxo

    SC

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  23. YUCK TO ALL.

    - Breastfed babies' poop.
    - Loud swallowing sounds.
    - Yeast ... beer, etc.
    - Moldy sour cream!
    - Spiders
    - Dead fish on the shores of Lake Michigan

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  24. Licorice and Howard Stern definitely.
    Grits are so good though. On my yuck list would be mud, muddy feet and then all over the car and into the house. The delivery driver coughing all over the package he wants me to sign for and handle with his cough all over it. The dog that watches me walk down the street and then jumps out and barks as I walk in front of his house.

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  25. I'm a nurse, so I can handle some yucky stuff, but here are a few things that get me skeeved:
    -used band-aids on the deck of a public pool
    -the smell of a GI bleed: it touches your reptilian brain and makes you want to run screaming for the hills
    -raisins
    -hospital scrambled eggs
    -suction catheters that are full of "secretions."

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  26. Hate:
    stepping on a dead mouse barefoot in the middle of the night (not my house btw)
    brussel sprouts
    dead cats in the attic all full of magots (not my house btw)
    aged brick cheese
    shower / tub combos that haven't been cleaned ... ever in like 10 years (not my house btw)
    picking up dog poo
    post surgery wounds ~ like minutes after surgery
    steel rods sticking outta a wound

    Well atleast your plumber is decent looking. ;)

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  27. Bwah ha ha! This made me laugh. It's funny how the little things - like tinsel - can be so. Frickin'. Huge.

    My yuck list includes pickles, curio cabinets, and piles of spit on the sidewalk.

    Yes, I am a difficult sort.

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  28. GEEZ! Theres nothin left for me to gripe about..I would like a pair of Ranty-Pants though!

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  29. beets. i hate hate hate beets.

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  30. Runny/stuffy noses on little kids who can't blow them. Uck.

    Letting dogs (or cats too I suppose) lick your plate "clean". UGH.

    Cooked veggies. Blech.

    And I'm not a fan of tinsel either. ;)

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  31. Tinsel? Huh - nope still can't picture it. ;) I'm going to go with carnations and anything peach scented/flavored except REAL peaches!

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  32. I use the "you can't recycle if there is tinsil on the tree and it's impossible to get it ALL off" excuse and therefore don't buy it. I'm sure the recyclers would take it if there a few strands here and there, but nope, I don't think so is always my answer.

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  33. What is wrong with licorice? I LOVE red licorice.

    Yuck list:

    Fish!
    Snot coming out of kids noses. I just want to wipe it.

    Kids with unbrushed hair in public and clothes that don't match. Sorry, it's more of a pet peeve.

    Frogs, rodents, snakes....good thing I have girls.

    The smell of boys locker rooms or bedrooms.

    Stitches

    Sewer! Been there too.

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Spill it, reader.