In college I took "Eastern Religious Studies," a real yawn of a course at 8:00 MWF--and believe me, on Friday I was barely propped up on my roommate's shoulder for the lectures. But I did learn that karma is the effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation. In my faith, this same concept is called the "Reaping-Sowing Principle," but does not apply to the next incarnation--Western religions like their retribution and consequences paid more immediately. Or in the immortal song lyrics by Ratt, "What goes around, comes around."
Last night I'm in the Momvan running late for church, all 3 kids packed in and ready to roll. We get a third of the way there and I hear an awful flapping sound from beneath the driver's side--WTF? I pull over at the next parking lot and take a look. It's December, dark and chilly at 6:00. You all know the week we've endured here between D's car and the sewer pump. My patience for misfortune is running thinner than Kate Moss.
There, jammed into my rear driver's side tire, is a lanyard and keys. The lanyard is making the flapping sound as it slaps along the inside of the wheel well. I reach out and try to pry it out and am rewarded with the hiss of a slow leak where some sharp metal end has impaled my Michelin. I do the math in my head (if a Momvan is headed west at 45 mph at 6:00 p.m. with a slow leak and an oncoming train is heading east at 100 mph at 3:30...). The answer is to leave the lanyard and keys where they are, double back and stuff the kids in Mr. D's car and make a fresh attempt at the journey. If I stay the course (and really, what moron would do that?), I'll end up in the church parking lot at 8:30 with 3 boys, no cell phone and a really flat tire.
I swapped out the vehicles without further incident (other than knocking over all of the golf clubs on the side of the garage), and on the way to church think:
* If bad things happen in threes, this should totally count as our third and I should be good for a while.
* What kind of an idiot would leave their keys in the middle of the road like that?
* Wait a minute...that idiot now HAS NO KEYS and will be looking for them.
* I have a flat tire, the person who caused my flat tire is looking for keys they'll never find.
* That seems like justice served.