Friday, June 18, 2010

I was in a funk. Whether caused by hormones, politics, other people or a general sense of frustration at the planet in general, I had the blues really bad. Little things like wasps in my house, a broken screen, a shattered jar of pears added their combined weight to my mood. Heavy things concerning my kids dominated my thoughts. I'm doubting our decision-making on their behalf. Mr. T is in a particular valley right now and it's breaking my heart. I tried to crowd out the bitterness by counting my blessings--Bumble book club, Lefty pinch-hitting to babysit the boys at the last minute, the sunny weather we'd finally enjoyed. But the black cloud settled above me, smothering my attempts at joyful gratitude.

Come on, God. I don't want to feel this way. I hate despair. I want to believe things will turn out okay.

And as I turned into our driveway, I glimpsed the spots of light in the field.

This magnificent photo by Jim Richardson

Fireflies!

My favorite insect in the whole world out in force, their twinkly behinds flashing little signals like so many stars. Smiling, I parked the Momvan, feeling really thankful for the sight of them. Fireflies are magic. They fill summer nights with their determined glow, luring children with empty Mason jars to follow their zig-zag path. They decorate the landscape, adding ambience to the low laughter of people clustered around splintery picnic tables. They light the way along country roads for nighttime travelers. Hundreds of fireflies beamed their signals erratically in the tall grass and metaphors about hope and love and destiny tangled in my mind while I watched them. Blink. Blink. Blinkblinkblinkblink.

Thanks, God. For fireflies tonight.

I went inside with a lighter heart, my mood uplifted.

Spill it, reader. What's your favorite insect in the whole world?
What's your firefly--the thing that soothes your soul when the blues hit you hard?


28 comments:

  1. BUTTERFLIES. It's the whole metamorphosis they go through that inspires me - reminds me that I'm a work in progress. Soon I, too, will be a butterfly. I just can't lose my determination, focus and passion. It's a journey, not a destination.

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  2. ladybugs!!! my grandmother and mama have always called me ladybug and I have always collected them. They're so pure and beautiful!! Great post!!!

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  3. I really don't like bugs..I know how good they are for the environment..But bugs spook me..ALL bugs. Hate them

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  4. Those are some boots! Love the new format.

    Dragonflies make my heart sing.

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  5. butterflies.
    There is a local nursery here with a butterfly garden. I'm planning to visit sometime soon and taking pictures.

    I hope your weekend is a little brighter.

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  6. Yes, fireflies! Walker and I were out walking at night and as we entered a small woody patch they were twinkling around us. They're the Christmas Lights of summer. Who can resist that twinkle?

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  7. See, ask and thou shalt receive! I love the yellow butterflies that migrate in clouds across the gulf from Venezuela to Trinidad. Why do they do it? They are the colour of butter.

    Fireflies remind me of camping.

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  8. I do love the fireflies - lightning bugs, we call them. And somehow I love to see dragon flies hovering....

    I think praying mantises are funny!

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  9. Fireflies, but more so, just the air. Outside air - hot air, cold air, humid air, the breeze. Ahhh . . .

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  10. Hey, the boots are in the pool!

    I like REAL, PRETTY butterflies, NOT ugly moths!

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  11. Our altitude is too high for most insects here, and I'm quite thankful for THAT most of the time, alas, we have no fireflies...we have ladybugs, which I adore...I love seeing a hummingbird, and always consider that a special blessing...once I saw a PRAYING MANTIS...freaky!!!...but incredible, nonetheless...

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  12. Beautiful post! You know, I've NEVER seen a firefly in my entire life! How sad is that? I hope to, someday.

    I guess I would have to say butterflies are my favorite insects. They're just so hard to photograph because they're so skittish. I love swallowtails!

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  13. I don't have a firefly, but this week, the cure for my PPD funk was a day with Mom and her treating me to my all time favorite dinner. It's not a bug, but it helped me back away from my personal cliff.

    Let me know if a chat over lemonade while cuddling an adorable 4 week old is needed...I'm free all day next tuesday. :)

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  14. Butterflies, dragonflies, and ladybugs make me happy. I think I saw some fireflies too the other night, but I wasn't sure. We don't have fireflies in Holland so they are an extra gift of nature for me now.

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  15. I am soooooo jealous. Love fireflies but have only seen them once during a trip I took back East a couple of years ago. They are magic.
    I guess I fit right in with the norm of everyone else when I say I love Ladybugs and Butterflies.
    What really lifts my spirits however is a beautiful sunrise. Don't know how you can't have a good day after you've seen a magical sunrise.

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  16. Dragonflies make me smile every time.

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  17. I think I don't have one particular thing, it's just the "thanks, God" moments in general. The unexpected phone call, the courtesy from a stranger...the thankful post from an online friend that reminds me that all is right with the world even when it all feels wrong.

    Thanks, God. :)

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  18. I'm not a bug person, apparently--I can't really think of one I'm delighted to see.

    Though fireflies are pretty darn cool--I think I've only seen them a couple of times in Minnesota--and never a whole field full like in that photo.

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  19. I love butterflies, but fireflies hold so many special memories of my own childhood and those of my children.

    Hope you feel better soon. Things will get better...they always do.

    Just remember that you can't look back and you can't control the future....you have this moment and usually this very moment isn't too bad. :)

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  20. Fireflies are magic! One disadvantage to living in the city is the lack of visible fireflies. I love dragonflies. They're so lovely!

    It's not a bug, but I adore the new look - boots and all!

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  21. fireflies is up there. they are out in force here and we sit on the deck in the evenings and watch them.

    i also love the praying mantis.

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  22. So the fireflies broke your darkness!
    Amazing post, my friend.

    Birds do it for me. Singing, squawking, soaring birds.

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  23. I have to agree with you. Fireflies make me happy. We haven't seen any yet, but we'll be waiting.

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  24. Aww. I love this post.
    I love fireflies too, but I can't remember the last time I saw one. I LOVE butterflies. LOVE them. And dragonflies are pretty cool too. :)

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  25. I LOVE fireflies!!! We don't have them on the west coast, but I grew up with them in the midwest. They were a great memory in my childhood.

    I really love butterflies! They are like real-life fairies.

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  26. Fireflies for me, too. I missed them so much when I lived out West!

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  27. I, too, find an appreciation of an unexpected "holy moment" can turn things around. I need to lurch to a halt and be reminded of all that is outside of me--returned to a point of wonder.

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  28. I am in love with fireflies. I didn't get my first sighting until my twenties and it was truly a magical thing.

    I found you over at Bri's blog and decided to stop by.

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Spill it, reader.