Monday, July 19, 2010

more madness

Tonight, instead of watching the Season Three Mad Men Marathon, I'll be at yet another school board meeting. My pretty speech is writ. I'm weary of fighting for adequate staffing and I daresay the school board might be weary of seeing my face at every meeting. Tonight they'll make decisions and then Mr. D and I will make ours. The superintendent will propose hiring a part-time Pre-K teacher and moving a crappy full-time Pre-K teacher up to Kindergarten. The crappy teacher is on maternity leave until January. This proposal is supposed to appease parents who've been circulating petitions and expressing outrage about the staffing plan for months. Because apparently we're dumb enough to forget that they forced the resignation of a good full-time Kindergarten teacher and the enrollment for the incoming Kindergarten class is up from the previous year's. Essentially, more kids, fewer teachers. But by pretending we're getting a full-time Kindergarten teacher!, the superintendent believes the parents will shut up and go away. She conveniently forgets that we asked for two full-time teachers. One to replace the resignation and another to accomodate the additional students in this class.

Did you follow all of that?

I've thought about what my Ranty-Pants should look like for this meeting--black gabardine power-business pants with a full leg worn with high heels? Comfortable broken-in blue jeans with a hole in one knee? Cargo khakis with pockets? Or should I wear shorts?

No, I'll go looking like Betty Draper--cool, calm, collected. Who'd have the nuts to disagree with anyone looking like this?

That's a don't f*ck with me look if I've ever seen one.

And when they ask me to stub out my cigarette, I'll say in a quiet, level voice, "I'm sorry," before grinding out the butt on the table and continuing with my speech.

After the meeting adjourns, I'll send Carla home for the night, tuck in the kids and pour myself a Manhatten out of the decanter on my sideboard.

I'll light another cigarette while finishing my cocktail and then head upstairs to bed. With Don.


Now to find bobby pins and styling gel so I can get those waves in my hair...

Spill it, reader. What do your ranty-pants look like?


  1. You are hyster! I'm with you, the classier the more intimidating. Knock em dead

  2. Love the attitude! You go, mom, remind the board that the children are the reason they exist.

    If you master the wavy hair look, let me know. I can use it when I meet with tough parents at conferences.

  3. All my pants are ranty pants.

    I hope you knock 'em dead.

  4. My ranty pants are black, of course.

    Good luck tonight. I am looking forward to hearing about how it goes.

  5. My ranty outfit is a black skirt with great jacket--white shirt under. Give me confidence.
    YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

    You are right---super. thinks parents can be appeased her way lady!

  6. Go, Mama, Go! I'm sympathetic to budget issues faced by schools, but there are better places to make cuts than staffing.

  7. Oh boy. Your education situation sounds dismal. It's so sad that the most important thing we can do for children is trapped in a completely messed up system.

    I think you should dress like Betty Draper. I wouldn't mess with her either.

  8. You go, girl. Kick butt and take names.

    DH, look out. Don Draper can be my boyfriend any time.

  9. Ooh, ooh! Have someone film it! :)
    I don't know that I have any dedicated ranty-pants. Every pair of pants I own knows they might be forced to step up to the plate. :)

  10. I've been to my share of school meetings - usually wearing sports attire - I was always coaching soccer, basketball or leading some sort of scout meeting. Never did I look so put together as those women.

  11. Back in the day my ranty pants were anything from capris to jeans. These days I leave the ranting to someone else--I need a job from these people!

  12. Black pencil skirt and shoes that give the illusion of being heels (my two year old walks in heels better than I do).

    Good luck!!

  13. Cowboy boots (red), broken in jeans and a worn button-down. Kind of like Thelma & Louise or Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats.

    If you didn't know, where I'm from, we call boots like that Shit Kickers.

    GO YOU! Off to read your update.

  14. Oh, wait, were those supposed to be real pants that we own? HA! Oops. Plain black work slacks . . . my ranty pants are my tops. My favorite is a black & white houndstooth swing jacket.

  15. They are not pants, but I like to go with my black leather 3 inch heeled "I am going to kick your a** boots. Add those to my 5'10" frame and I am ready to go

  16. Straight black skirt, the highest black heels I've got - I can't do four anymore thanks to an unfortunate altercation w/a giant lego, but three works, husbands white oxford cloth shirt, tied at the waist, natch, and my birth control glasses (Wayfarers w/my regular clear prescription lenses). I can no longer get my hair to stay in a bun with a yellow #2 pencil, but if I could, I would. Maybe I'll try the hairpins.


Spill it, reader.