Thursday, September 23, 2010

rocking the hair net

Reader, you asked for it.

I wear a little hair net, flimsey and brown,

I wear it to keep my hair from falling down.

No one will tell me I look good

But you'll never find my hair in your food!

Observe some of Green Girl's common postures when shel wears her hair net:


Bent forward, Green Girl is posed to scoop or ladle a single serving of fruit and/or vegetables onto the lunch tray of the next student in line.

"No! I only want to eat my grilled cheese and a brownie!"


Making full eye contact, Green Girl gives the student her "Serious Mother Stare" and says, "It's the rules. You have to fill 3 of 5 spots on your tray and you have to eat your fruit and veg. It's what keeps you healthy. All you've got there is grilled cheese and chocolate milk, kid. That isn't going to cut it on my watch."

"Fine. I'll have 2 orange slices."


Looking up, chin slightly raised, she softens her expression and injects a friendly tone in her voice.

"There you go! That's better. Now, would you prefer carrot sticks, peas or watermelon?"

"Watermelon."

"Bon appetite!"

They don't call her the Produce Enforcer for nothin', people. She's got a rep as one of the tougher nuts in the lunch line, but that's only because she's standing at the end of the line. The entree server never gets grief like the vegetable/fruit server, but Green Girl can handle it. She knows a little French and she's got a black belt.

23 comments:

  1. You are doing good work, Green Girl :)

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  2. You look marvelous in your hair net!

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  3. This makes me laugh...oh the hair net...and oh that mother stare--i've been honing it well through the last few years!!

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  4. Don't mess with da lunch lady---good for you being the enforcer :)

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  5. *ha!!*...& you know I would be "that kid"...
    * ; )

    good job, "Enforcer"!

    (what if they take the food but don't actually EAT it? just asking!)

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  6. Hopefully after a few days they'll learn so you don't have to constantly remind them they need at least 3 components. The kids where I work always want the nachos w/ out meat and then they tell me they're vegetarians. So then I explain they can supplement a salad or cheese pizza. If they don't have a fruit or veg I tell them they're going to need one. They don't have to eat it just take it. On our 4th week of school now, they're getting better.

    Its a serious business, if they're a reimbursable lunch and the state came in and saw we were charge for a meal w/o 3 components we'd owe them for all that kid's lunches that year.

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  7. I do worry that some hungry kid is going to associate your beautiful eyes with crappy turkey tetrazzini for the rest of his life, though.

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  8. Thanks for sharing - you're a very brave woman!

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  9. Who knew it was such a tough job! It sounds like you're perfect.

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  10. Are there ever any takers for peas? I can see some kids choosing carrot sticks but institutional canned peas? Not me, no way no how!

    No offense, Greenie, but what exactly do they do to hairnets that instantly makes anyone wearing one look scary?

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  11. Fabulous! There must be a superhero in there somewhere. Hairnet Woman? Super Fruit? Er, Super Veg? I think I'll quit while I'm lettuce.

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  12. Love it! Could you come "convince" my silkworms to eat their greens, too?

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  13. My Little Man came home yesterday and annouced he really liked the school's asparagus! Whooo hoooo!

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  14. Go, Mama, go. I wonder if a hair net woud give Mamas everyhwere greater authority when attempting to foist produce on their progeny?

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  15. Love it! It takes a black belt to make 'em eat their veggies. :D

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  16. Haha! That's awesome! Way to go, GG! :)

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  17. I absolutely LOVE the Serious Mother Stare. I use it often on my own kids at home, but haven't tried it with the hairnet look. I need to start wearing a hairnet. Tried it once and it got caught in my earring. I guess I need lessons.

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  18. LOL! I want one of those rockin' hair nets!

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  19. Go Green Girl! Rock the fruit and veggies! :)

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Spill it, reader.