Wednesday, October 20, 2010

an old promise finally kept

Over a year ago: Green Girl starts talking smack about earning a black belt, being a great woman warrior, blah blah blah.

About a year ago: Green Girl starts talking smack about black belt karate classes, how she gets to play with weapons like swords and isn't she uber-cool now?

About a year ago: Green Girl makes a big promise to her readers that she'll make a video of herself doing karate.

Which brings us to yesterday...

8:00 a.m. wave last of Team Testosterone out of the house for the day, turn on computer and start cleaning bathroom.

8:10 a.m. decide while scrubbing the tub that today would be a great day to figure out how to use the video camera and download videos to the computer.

8:11 a.m. decide if she's going to download videos to the computer, the Internet is just a short jump away.

8:13 a.m. quit cleaning bathroom, strip off gloves, find video camera.

8:16 a.m. plug in video camera, instruction manual and necessary cords. Attach video camera to computer. Success!

8:17 a.m. attempt to download videos from the last 3 years to computer.

8: 38 a.m. discover this will take a while. Read blogs, troll websites, skim newspaper while hard drive is running.

9:49 a.m. discover that she's spent an hour downloading nothing. At all. Open instruction manual.

10:00 a.m. attempt variations on pressing "direct back up" and "auto/manual" buttons while opening various computer files to read the videos.

10:35 a.m. reread instruction manual. Discover CD with software to upload videos from the camera onto the computer. Begin installing software.

10:45 a.m. finish cleaning bathroom.

10:55 a.m. watch videos of Christmas 2007, Mr. T's karate graduation, her armpit filmed during the trip to Disney World, kids' attempts at movie making involving light sabers and Mr. G's last birthday.

11:10 a.m. leave computer and camera running and head out to retrieve Team Testosterone for 6-month dental checkup across town.

1:00 p.m. boys back at school, cavity-free, flourinated and fed. Discover all family videos from the past 3 years are now on computer.

1:01 p.m. indulge in self-congratulatory fist pumping and audible whooping.

1:05 p.m. change into yoga pants and grab kamas.

1:06 p.m. why kamas? Green Girl is studying them right now, they're a 2-handed weapon used in Japan for farming. Lightweight with a curved metal blade, they are easier to manage than the unpredictable nunchucks. And her sword form is rusty and she cannot remember more than the first half of her bo staff form, even though the bo staff is her favorite weapon. So kamas it is.

1:09 p.m. after much trial and error to set up camera to tape herself, Green Girl find the perfect angle to capture most of the living room floor is on a stack of books on a table. And she can still plug in the camera without requiring an extension cord.

1:10 p.m. execute kama form. replay video.

1:15 p.m. cringe. need to begin form further back. ended much too close to the camera and can only see torso.

1:16 p.m. execute kama form again. Nearly fall over during kick sequence.

1:20 p.m. execute kama form again. Success!

1:21 p.m. watch video. Notices how loud her knees crack during kick sequence. Video quality is very shadowy because of sunlight coming through windows behind her, but Green Girl is sick of entire business.

1:30 p.m. successfully load video to computer.

1:35 p.m. attempt to load video to blog.

1:36 p.m. whoops. need to copy video to another file first.

1:47 p.m. master copying video to file.

1:53 p.m. attempt to edit video using new software. Would be so cool to add a music soundtrack.

2:25 p.m. abandon all hope of learning how to edit video. Attempt to add video to blog.

2:35 p.m. loading.

2:50 p.m. still loading. go pick up children from school.

3:20 p.m. still loading.

4:00 p.m. computer says complete. try to watch. screen reads "error in loading, try again later."

4:01 p.m. viciously curse the internet.

4:03 p.m. try again.

4:15 p.m. loading. take Mr. G to karate class.

5:30 p.m. return home and make dinner. computer says complete. try to watch. screen reads "error in loading, try again later."

5:55 p.m. sit down with Team Testosterone and eat dinner.

6:30 p.m. take Mr. T to karate class. work on kama form. get complemented by Mr. O on kick sequence. Booya.

7:45 p.m. return home. hang out with kids. start putting everybody to bed.

8:30 p.m. decide to set up YouTube account.

8:45 p.m. load video to YouTube account.

9:15 p.m. video loaded. Success! pump fists and hit "play."

9:16 p.m. watch self perform kama form on YouTube. feel mildly famous even though only person aware of this video.

9:19 p.m. watch a few other videos while loading kama form to blog.

9:27 p.m. DONE!


  1. U R 2 cool!

    Love that Ninjaness :)

  2. You are my FREAKING HERO for many reasons and now I have three more reasons.

    1- I would never have been able to figure out how to upload video to computer to internet to blog. Never. Seriously. I suck.

    2- You are such a bad A$$! I love it! I have always wanted to take karate or tai kwon do or judo or somethings. You freaking rock!

    3- It took you all day to do the video and upload it and you never gave up. That is awesome. Stubborn (I mean determined) much? ;)

    Seriously. I am so impressed.

    All of your readers had BETTER watch that video after all the trouble you went through to post it. :)

    -remind me to never get on your bad side. ;)

  3. This is absolutely BRILLIANT! Both the video and the post. :-)

  4. gawdDANNG!! *haha!! I love your very intimidating hissing and other martial arts-y sound effects! Your silhouette is dangerous, man....dangerous!! And the closeup of your weapons there at the end is pretty dam scary too! *heehee! CONGRATULATIONS Technology-Girl!! that was awesome!!!
    * ; )

  5. Oh my gosh, you are FABULOUS! You actually made me jump when you started your scary warrior sounds. LOVE IT!!!!

  6. very cute. love the story on how long it took to load the video. been there... done that!

  7. Dude, you totally ROCK!!

    You and Jen on the Edge are my hero goddesses today. :)

    (I would have given up, mmmm, about 10:55 and spent the rest of the day watching Rick Springfield videos on YouTube.)

  8. That is so great. You will never get any stalkers coming to your house if they read your blog. I'm impressed!

    I am going to sign up my boys for Karate next year.


  9. OMG. That was freaking amazing!! And your post had me laughing hysterically! :)

  10. Kick ass! Worth the wait, and worth all the work!

  11. That was so awesome that I'm sure it's going to go viral! You go girl!

  12. Woo-Hooooo!

    You had better post when you record your staff form.
    I wish we had been able to record my son's tournament.

  13. WOOT! So graceful. A plus when you are defending yourself against corn or whatever you use those tools for! :)

  14. Bravo!! Not only for the work with the kamas but for your tenacity in sticking out the video camera, the internet, the bathroom, and everything else the day threw at you!

  15. Ooooh. I am still reduced to frustration trying to upload photos. I congratulate your video success with total awe. ANd the mad karate skills don't hurt either!

  16. Brillient! Glad you got there in the end!

  17. I'm not sure which part of this post is funniest - I'm actually leaning toward uploading the video of "..her armpit filmed during the trip to Disney World..."

  18. Look at you go!!!! That is awesome. COngratulations on the great karate AND for figuring out how to show the video to us.


  19. That was awesome. My money is on you over Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 3 !

  20. DUDE! I'm totally making you a cake. "Accomplished" does not begin to contain your multitudes.

  21. Bravo! It looks really ninja-ish with the backlighting. I want to learn ninja moves too. But first I have to clean the bathroom. And learn how to operate the video camera.

  22. Dude! Does no one else think this looks like kick ass BALLET!???


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