Even though I'm looking through my window at a cardinal perched in our crabapple tree by the driveway and I've got bread baking in the oven, I feel heavy today.
Our church said goodbye to two of our wonderful pastors yesterday--one is heading to Erie, Pennsylvania (lucky Erie!) to head up another church. Pastor Harris is one of the smartest, most godly men I know. I loved his sermons, consumed his classes, found great comfort in his guidance over the years. I actually cried (to my embarrassment) when I said goodbye to him and I'm not much for crying. The other pastor is heading to Madison to plant a church (lucky Madison!) and if anyone has the energy and intensity to succeed in that mission, Pastor Stewart is the man for the job. His wife is no slouch, either. I'm going to miss both of these leaders and their families.
The news this weekend--it was only a matter of time before the violent rhetoric begat violent behavior. The political discourse has been divisive and angry for over a decade. I hope Americans step back and reflect on what they most value--what does freedom really mean? If it means only your way and any other perspective must be destroyed, does that make America any better than countries where we send our soldiers in the name of freedom and democracy? It's disturbing that people cannot meet safely to discuss ideas, that a centrist representative like Ms. Giffords was perceived as controversial enough to become someone's target, that the loudest voices screaming invectives do so in the name of God and religion--if they ever cracked a Bible, they'd know inciting violence and discord is sinful and wrong. Hearing this news felt like a punch in the gut and further eroded my faith in America's ability to pull their shit together.
I finally watched Atonement this weekend--I'd loved the book. How had I forgotten the ending, though?
And of course there's the general brooding that comes with waiting for your literary agent to sell your book, wondering if you're making the right decisions about your future (should you keep hacking away at writing, go back to school, return to teaching, start a vegetable farm?).
Nothing for it except a walk in the woods and some chocolate, is there?
Spill it, reader. How do you deal with the blues?