Monday, January 10, 2011

melancholy baby

Even though I'm looking through my window at a cardinal perched in our crabapple tree by the driveway and I've got bread baking in the oven, I feel heavy today.

Our church said goodbye to two of our wonderful pastors yesterday--one is heading to Erie, Pennsylvania (lucky Erie!) to head up another church. Pastor Harris is one of the smartest, most godly men I know. I loved his sermons, consumed his classes, found great comfort in his guidance over the years. I actually cried (to my embarrassment) when I said goodbye to him and I'm not much for crying. The other pastor is heading to Madison to plant a church (lucky Madison!) and if anyone has the energy and intensity to succeed in that mission, Pastor Stewart is the man for the job. His wife is no slouch, either. I'm going to miss both of these leaders and their families.

The news this weekend--it was only a matter of time before the violent rhetoric begat violent behavior. The political discourse has been divisive and angry for over a decade. I hope Americans step back and reflect on what they most value--what does freedom really mean? If it means only your way and any other perspective must be destroyed, does that make America any better than countries where we send our soldiers in the name of freedom and democracy? It's disturbing that people cannot meet safely to discuss ideas, that a centrist representative like Ms. Giffords was perceived as controversial enough to become someone's target, that the loudest voices screaming invectives do so in the name of God and religion--if they ever cracked a Bible, they'd know inciting violence and discord is sinful and wrong. Hearing this news felt like a punch in the gut and further eroded my faith in America's ability to pull their shit together.

I finally watched Atonement this weekend--I'd loved the book. How had I forgotten the ending, though?

And of course there's the general brooding that comes with waiting for your literary agent to sell your book, wondering if you're making the right decisions about your future (should you keep hacking away at writing, go back to school, return to teaching, start a vegetable farm?).

Nothing for it except a walk in the woods and some chocolate, is there?
Spill it, reader. How do you deal with the blues?

18 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're feeling blue. Then again, the events of this weekend were tragic and I think most of us are having a hard time believing that this happened in our country.

    When I'm blue, I go for a walk. It never fails to clear my mind and give me new perspective.

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  2. the blues hit hard this time of year, don't they?

    I force myself to keep social. This is the time of year when I least want to see people, but when I most need to.

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  3. I hope it gets better. It's always hard to say goodbye to people... good friends.

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  4. I'm honestly one of those pansies that crawls back into bed and pulls the covers up over my head. Unless life is too busy for such tactics. In that case, the simple rhythms of day-to-day life eventually swallow up the blues.

    The events over the weekend are sickening. I'm sick of the constant trash-talking between political groups, but this is just so far beyond that...

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  5. Can music save your mortal soul? (Don McClean may think so). Well, I think it can. A great CD can totally change my perspective on life. I would recommend going to YouTube and looking up Oh Happy Day with Edwin Hawkins. uphttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD2D6eter7M. If that doesn't do the trick watch Isreal K. sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I.

    Referring to that gunman, he was obviously mentally disturbed. It's too bad that all the red flags in his life were ignored. Sounds like he was a ticking bomb. But for people like him, all this political crap everywhere just adds fuel to the fire. But how do you control it without infringing on free speech?

    Hope your day brightens up.

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  6. Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling blue. And I couldn't agree more with what you wrote.

    A walk in the woods and chocolate will help. I know a walk always does me good. And chocolate can't hurt.

    Hope you feel better.

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  7. I rarely, if ever, get the blues. I suppose if I did that I would probably go shopping or pull a chair up in front of the refrigerator and simply eat my blues away. :-)

    Di

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  8. Thank you! Been feeling extra bluesy myself!

    The wonderful thing is that some of your blues, and others' oftentimes, come from such wonderful experiences--Having a great pastor? Writing a book? The tragedies in Arizona are hard to find a silver lining in, however, especially when thinking of the families. I agree, that we should all take a moment and think about these things, and hopefully it will be a wakeup call to other troubled individuals who may have similar violent thoughts.

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  9. The blues are hitting far and wide today. Me too. Last week on this day I was all Zen-y and positive. I think after the weekend's events all of us took a hit in the hope. We'll rally. Chocolate will probably be involved for some of us. Jen on the Edge keeps me remembering that a walk or run is probably better than chocolate though. XO

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  10. I blog. And I bake. And I nap. But the tragedy in Tucson goes beyond standard coping devices. The more I learn, the more upsetting it is.

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  11. I force myself to do something creative, even if I really don't want to or think I can.

    So sorry you are feeling blue, and hope you can at least get outside and stomp around working those blues away!

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  12. I so know what you're saying. I was hoping 2011 would start off with more hopeful news instead we have dead birds falling from the sky, shootings, and more doom and gloom.

    I always try Chocolate ice cream, a run, and maybe even a workout, not always in that order. Oh, plus, cuddling up with my hubby-that always helps.

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  13. Sometimes it's good to feel blue so you can really truly appreciate the non-blue days. I think. That's what I tell myself when I allow myself to wallow in self-pity and misery for a day or so (week or three).

    I like to just go to bed early with my kitties and a good book and shut the world out.

    I know what will cheer you up---come on by and sign up for my giveaway!!! :)

    Hope tomorrow is a better day!

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  14. I was feeling blue about the murders in Arizona until I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is planning to move their hate-fest to the funerals.

    http://www.sandiego.com/news/westboro-baptist-church-to-picket-arizona-shooting-funerals

    Now, I'm angry and completely disgusted.

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  15. I'm about to go ride my bike.

    What happened this weekend is just truly horrifying--it is hard to put it out of your mind.

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  16. so sorry that you're a melancholy baby... it's that time of year; downtime after the holidays and then the weather gets yucky (but i think it's yucky where you are quite frequently).

    still praying for your boy...

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  17. Not very well at the moment. Blech.

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Spill it, reader.