Friday, March 4, 2011

brought to you by the letter P

I'm no Pollyanna today. Plugged nose, head feels like it's PINCHED in a vise. Panting breaths. (Pneumonia? the Plague?) Please, Prescribe Pills--a Potion to Push the Pain aside and Placate my Pissy mood. Yes, I made an aPPointment to see a doctor. I'll stoP at the Pharmacy after he Perceives what ails me.

Pleasantly, last night's PTA meeting kept on Pace and our Profits hold steady to Pay for imProving student Performance. We'll give students Popsicles and Pizza.

Mr. T graPPled two oPPonents last night, got Pinned, but kePt his sPirits uP.

Mr. G has begun sleePwalking. Last night I found the fridge door oPen, lights fliPPed on and discovered him Peeing in the corner of the bathroom. Into a wastebasket. "It's okay, Pal, you don't need to flush," I told him and steered him gently back to his bed.

The Pillow talk is Passionate and disPutes Percolate between Mr. D and me. He Perceives Paring exPenditures as helPful. I Perceive them as Politically motivated,Polarizing, Predatory and Peeling away fair Portions of Pay. On toP of Plying early Parole from Prisoners, Plummeting recycling levels, Promoting unPrecedented gubernatorial Power and Piling exPenses onto local and county governments. The Peaceful Progressive Pride in my state is raPidly devolving into Pure antiPathy, and ramPant Protests. The afterglow of the Packers season Passed too quickly when Politicians Plundered our Peace. (PumPkin, forgive my Pernicious sniPing, when I feel better I'll PrePare you a Pie and Pork choPs in aPology for acting like a Priggish and Pedantic Pole cat.)

sPring, Please Prance here soon, raise the temPeratures, Perk our Paltry moods, Poke tuliPs through the ground, bring the Promise of new beginnings.


21 comments:

  1. He peed in the wastebasket? LOL! My husband once sat up in the middle of the night and yelled "Get the F out of here!" After I woke him he said he was dreaming we were camping and these kids were attacking our tent. Totally cracked me up.

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  2. You my dear are the Princess of P's. - Perfectly Pronounced. I was esPecially Pleased that I'm not the only one with sleePwalking kids that mistake Plants or, in your case, wastePaPer baskets for the Potty.

    P.S. I'll Pray that sPring comes soon for you too.

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  3. Last week when I was sick I seriously contemplated writing a post called "today's post is brought to you by the letter F". But, inbetween hacking up a lung and practically peeing my pants, I could only think of 1 word that started with F ;)

    Blame your mood on the flu--I promise you will be in better spirits next week!

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  4. My little one was a sleepwalker/pee-er also. Best advice I got was to insist on a bathroom visit right before lights out even if she insisted she she didn't "have to go". Ended the walking and peeing! Good luck!

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  5. Perfect!!!! Hope you're feeling better soon!

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  6. i was a sleepwalking, sleeptalking, bathroom-bound kid, too. luckily, i did outgrow it... there's hope. :) I once tried to go in the laundry shoot (the hole in the floor in the linen closet that dropped dirty clothes to the basement floor; it would have been a hard landing).

    Back to your cold... Neti pot (or other saline-filled applicator to rinse your sinuses). I have a terrible fear of not being able to breathe when congested and the saline rinse has made a world of difference in my problems. If I could figure out a remedy to get rid of the "schnot" every morning (TMI???) then it would be so much better.

    hope you're on the mend quickly.

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  7. Awesome Alliteration (and the letter you Picked to alliterate works so nicely with the activity of your sleepwalker).

    Nasal problems: I concur with Teresa in the Middle Side of Life - do the saline nasal rinse thing. I'm going to do mine right now. Thanks for the reminder.

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  8. Today's a Preposterous day for me too. I had Pizza AND Popcorn before noon. I'm feeling oh-so-Puffy right now.

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  9. I have been thinking of clever things to say with a P but I am writing direct mail copy all day and there is only so much cleverness in me. Sorry.

    You made me laugh, how about that?

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  10. Perfect Post. Have a haPPy weekend.

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  11. I found pee in the bathroom garbage once too. It was my youngest son's. He said he did it because his brother told him it was an urinal.

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  12. LOL @ all the Ps!

    Scary about the sleepwalking. I did that only once. I was at the International Hilton in Las Vegas and we had been driving all night so we were sleeping during the day. I got up, left the hotel room, and wandered around. I found myself outside near an area where helicopters landed. Elvis was getting out of a helicopter. It seemed to have woke me up! I went back inside, but had NO clue what room I was in, so I had to ask at the desk. My family never believed me about Elvis. Dorks!

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  13. My daughter has done the same thing sleepwalking--though not in many years.

    They're not talking cuts to prison guards or cutting funding for the "war on drugs" are they? They never are.

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  14. sorry you feel so Pitiful. Perk up andPut on a smile..Praying for your quick recovery Petunia..like my Play on the letter P

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  15. You poor thing! I know you'll fee better soon
    xoxo
    SC

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  16. oh dear....we had a sleep walker, but now, he's 13 and "they" say they grow out of sleepwalking at 13 -

    sure enough!

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  17. Oh, dear. Sleepwalking? That's scary.

    As for budget issues, I have so many "letters to the editor" in my head I can't distinguish them all.

    I'm scared for my son's sake; cuts to Valley Transit will keep him from working, from higher ed, from leaving the house.

    Cuts to DVR will eliminate his job training - not that he can get anywhere for training without a bus.

    But anyway, life goes on, even when it sucks.

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  18. I just got over a sinus infection with the help of antibiotics. I felt just like you described.

    I enjoyed your post and also hve tee-heed over all the commets. Nothing like a good "PEE" story!

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  19. i used to sleepwalk when i was very young--6 or 7 or 8. i slept on a mattress on the floor at the foot of my sister's bed (remember, 10 kids, small house...) and used to wander downstairs in the middle of the night.

    when i was in 3rd grade we got bunkbeds, and i was put on the top bunk, and i so worried that i would sleepwalk and fall out of the bed, but i never did.

    hey, i got YOUR BOOK, YOUR BOOK, YOUR LOVELY BOOK IN THE MAIL!!! congratulations!!!! it looks terrific and useful and i am proud to own a copy. thank you for sending it.

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  20. That is a LOT of P! :)
    And I laughed out loud at the sleepwalking incident. (That stuff is only funny when it doesn't happen to you, right?)

    Hope you feel better soon!

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Spill it, reader.