Yes, I do plan to turn off our heat one of these days. Just as soon as spring decides to stick around...Winter Storm GABE is expected to leave behind 6-9 inches this evening. Bitter? Moi? Non, non, j'adore sale temps.
Common Household Mom asked why I scrubbed mold in my undies instead of wearing pants. Excellent question. I don't own any white pants and I have bleach stained enough clothes in this lifetime to wise up and only wear white (or, in this particular instance, a clear vinyl rain poncho from Disney World) when I use bleach. For the record, my undies were white. Why don't I own any white pants or shorts? I have 3 sons--I push my luck wearing a light shade of khaki--I need to repel the dirt and crud they drag in by wearing dark colors that don't show stains.
My sister. Yes, I have a sister. She's almost 4 years younger then me, consequently we've never been close. When I was finishing elementary school, she was just starting. When I left middle school, she was still in elementary. By the time I graduated high school, she had completed eighth grade. The dynamics of age gave us little in common to bond over.
Other dynamics worked against us as well. I was your typical golden firstborn child, great grades, slid into my niche easily, made friends and met people's expectations. L was not these things. A learning disability made good grades difficult, she struggled to find her niche and tended to make poor choices in friendships. She got pulled and replaced in various schools, public and parochial, she swallowed various doses of medications and spiraled down a path of self-destruction that eventually led to drug addiction and all the ugliness that follows. Much of her life has been unspeakably tragic, details I won't share, not because they can't be found in public record, but because she's cleaned herself up and stayed sober and rebuilt her life over the past 5 years, and I'm respecting that by leaving her past in the past.
I've been impatient with her over the years, dismissive of her choices, disgusted by her habits, disrespectful of her needs. Proud of what I perceived as my accomplishments (degrees, marriage, house, children, career, and so forth), I was unable to appreciate her struggles and met her with an attitude of superiority and disdain. I refused to attend her high school graduation and opted to work that day instead. Truant for much of her junior and senior years, L barely graduated. When invited to celebrate her "accomplishment" I sneered and responded accomplishment for what? Graduating high school? Anyone can do that--she only made it hard because she kept skipping classes. There's nothing I need to skip work to celebrate. (Lest you think Green Girl a total bitch, do understand that she didn't attend her own graduation or expect any celebration--she'd had that attitude about graduations all along.)
When one sister heads off to college and the other barely graduates, you can imagine there's little room for mutual regard. The differences in our lives are stark and deep.
I've always yearned for a close relationship with a sister. Books like Little Women and Dancing Shoes fed my fantasy. I envied friends who were tight with their siblings, despised their love for each other because that was something I never got to have. My experience with sisterhood has been tainted by many factors, including pride, addiction, favoritism and ignorance.
Really, the whole unvarnished story would make a great novel. And maybe one day it will.
I digress. L and I haven't lived in the same state in 20 years or so. Last weekend she moved to an apartment 8 miles away. She's starting a new job soon. I drove her to run a few errands yesterday and we had a coffee together. It was nice. Perhaps, over time and with proximity, we'll be the sisters of my fantasies, the kind who share everything--secrets, histories, clothes and favors. At the very least, we won't be strangers anymore.