Wednesday, May 18, 2011

BFF makes GG LOL

Below is an actual email exchange that happened yesterday--only the names were changed to protect the innocent (and egotistical).

TO: Merit Badge Counselor

FROM: Pretentious Teacher

RE: Last Minute Boy Scout's Speech

As per a request from Last Minute Boy Scout.....I am letting you know that he gave a 6 min 30 sec (I time them) presentation today on "Herpetology, envenomation, and neurotoxins" today in Comparative Anatomy and Physiology class. He had a fine grasp of the subject matter, was technically accurate, insightful, and was able to answer difficult questions after his speech to the class. If you should require further information (I might!) about this communication, feel free to let me know!


Pretentious Teacher
UW College Adjunct-Biology
2010 Herb Kohl Fellowship Recipient
B.S., M.S. Biology (UW-College, Name of Another Univ.)
M.A.T. Secondary Science Education (And Another Univ.)
Happyland High School Science
Happyland, Wisconsin USA
"Teaching a child not to step on a spider is as valuable to the child as it is to the spider." ~Bradley Millar

From: Green Girl
Sent: Tuesday, May 17, 2011 1:08 PM
To: Sarah
Subject: FW: Communications Merit Badge: this made me laugh

Could this guy’s signature look any MORE pretentious? I almost choked laughing!!!

From: Sarah
Sent: Tuesday, May 17, 2011 1:23 PM
To: Green Girl
Subject: Reply: FW: Communications Merit Badge: this made me laugh

He forgot to add A.S.S. to his other list

Wait, when did you become the merit badge lady?

Spill it, reader. We all know a big SUV or expensive sports car means a man is compensating for something. Does the length of his signature line mean anything?


  1. Maybe the teacher just forgot to change his signature information after communicating with your governor? Because teachers these days have to prove that they are not just babysitters?

    But yeah, many of our high school teachers have master's degrees, but I've never seen that info on their e-mail sign-offs.

  2. You made me spit coffee everywhere!!! Sounds like he majored in pompous and minored in A.S.S. ;)

  3. I used to sing in a good choral group, which was directed by another pretentious ass. In his ONE PAGE bio in the 8.5 X 11 concert handout, he listed data about some award his maternal grandfather had received. No lie.

    See here's the link!
    What an ass!

  4. I have a colleague who resembles that signature. He teaches political science (duh) and one of the many letter combinations in his signature is some obscure theological degree.

  5. I'm laughing out loud, too! Looks like he copied and pasted half his resume into his auto-signature. I have a Masters, too, but I don't put it in my signature.
    I think he forgot part: Pretentious J.E.R.K.

  6. I am not a fan of the quote in the signature--it's pretentious on its own. IMHO.

  7. Ha. You're right, someone is overcompensating.

    - Jen
    Blogger extraordinaire
    B.A., the University of Virginia
    M.Ed., the University of Virginia
    and the mother of two utterly perfect and (of course) gifted children)

  8. Hmmm... My signature above seems to be lacking enough pretension. I'll need to work on that.

  9. How bejezzus...what a sign off. We have a couple teachers like that at my school....what's the point? He's definitely hiding some insecurity.

    Does he wear small shoes? :)

  10. I'm thinking it means he makes a hell of a lot more money a year than I do!

    Blogging High Priestess and Queen of the Kitteh Rodeo, PhD, MBA, BBQ

  11. What a total HOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Hilarious! Can you imagine being married to THAT guy?

    Love Jen on the Edge and Pearl's signatures! ;)


Spill it, reader.