In light of last week's drama, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to have karate school movie camp all week, correlating with garden chores, baseball schedules and Team Testosterone's first week of summer school. (No, actually I did NOT think this would be a good week, but Mr. O did, so there you go.) You know how Steven Spielberg talked about what a panic it was with The Goonies? Wrangling 7 child actors into place and dialogue? Imagine amateurs doing so with 26 kids.
My script, Crouching Poodle, Hidden Hamster, is awesome. The lead cameraman, gaffer and production manager is a great guy. The child actors? Let me give you a little taste:
I don't wanna be in the zombie scene. I didn't know about that when I signed up for this.
I don't like chips.
I don't like spiders.
Do I have to do this scene?
I can't think of a kung fu move.
Can I change my color?
Do I have to do a kung fu move?
Can I change my kung fu name?
Interestingly, when I tell kids to look SCARED or HAPPY, they're good at it. The minute I tell them to do these things while the camera is focused on them? Blank stares. I've explained to at least 7 kids that being in a movie means acting which is the same as pretending, they knew that when they signed up for MOVIE CAMP, right? Blank stares.
They did perk up when it was time for ice cream, though. I shuttled all 26 of those squirts from ice cream store to the park where we filmed in the Momvan. I answered the same questions from each group of kids strapped into their seats:
How come there's marker on the back of your seat?
Why is there a Nerf gun back here?
I found a Bey Blade thing back here. Can I have it?
Is your van always so messy?
People, it's going to be a wicked long week.