I've felt like I've stood at a crossroads for a long time, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. "The season of my discontent." I've fallen into a pattern of living the way others expect me to, a strange conformity to unspoken rules and unwritten laws. Strange fears govern my behavior and choices, and I don't understand how this has evolved. (I don't mean like I'm suffering mental illness, really. This includes how I dress the way "women my age in my town should dress" but who really dictates my dress code? Clothes are a small, silly example of what I mean, but it's the most tangible example I could come up with today.) Recently I read a quote that suggested one should live the life they imagine--I'd seen that quote before, but it struck a nerve this time. What's stopping me? I'm starting to ask myself this and I'm stepping back to examine my life. Is it possible to purge what I don't like and fill it up with what I want to do?
I'm considering my habits, my diet, my appearance, my activities, the way my house looks and the way my family interacts with each other and with our community. Everything is on the table right now and I suddenly feel like I've taken a step in the right direction.
What will remain of this life? What will change?
What does the life I want to live look like?
Spill it, reader. Are you living the life you want to be living?