Friday, December 9, 2011

Sons, into exile, I must go. Failed, I have.

Scene: Green Girl arrives home after her evening out at book club, full of residual good vibes from fun conversation, Korean food and a couple of chocolate martinis. She walks through the kitchen and sees dishes stacked beside the sink. Crumbs all over the counter and table.

Another dish lies directly above...

that damn household appliance no one else in the household seems to be able to master. Green Girl opens the door and sure enough, there is plenty of room. She has tried to train them, teach them the secrets, unlock the mystery of its power. She bows her head and concedes failure.

Team Testosterone: But tell us why we can't...
Green Girl: No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions.

Her disappointment in the young Jedi overwhelms her.






(with special thanks to George Lucas)

26 comments:

  1. There is hope, my friend. My husband has learned to load the dishwasher. Not entirely to my exacting layout, but it's better than nothing. I like the knives to point down, so you don't stab yourself taking them out.

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  2. My husband knows how to load the dishwasher, but he's just as guilty of putting stuff on the counter directly above said appliance rather than just loading immediately. Ditto for my girls.

    I've gotten rather militant about this issue this fall and when I discover offending piles of dishes, I insist that the guilty party drop whatever she's doing and come finish the job immediately.

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  3. Growing up, my sister and I were the dishwasher(s). My cousins did have a dishwasher at their disposal. The rule in their house was whatever they could not fit into the dishwasher, they had to wash by hand.

    I have never met more efficient dishwasher loaders. Seriously.

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  4. I know your pain. Glad to hear the bumbles are all well and the martinis were good. Let me know if there was any good news! :)

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  5. This is the laundry issue in my house. Clothes on the floor in front of the hamper.

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  6. I'm aware that I have just-do-it-my-way dishwasher perfectionism; but why is it so hard to do it even half-assed? I suspect "some people" visualize the machine filled entirely with hot soapy water so that all those backward and upside-down dishes will magically come clean.

    [If you like your knives (or non-stick pans) even a little, don't ruin them in the dishwasher!]

    I suspect that a combination of "but I can't do it as well as you can" plus general oblivion equals dishes NOT loaded. It's an honorable goal though, and beats the alternative of being the SOLE dishwasher-loader. No thank you!

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  7. Hahaha. Next meal they have to make themselves? (that is if you can pinpoint the culprit.) :) :)

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  8. My husband and daughter are guilty of this, even though my husband denies it all the time. Drives me nuts. I need to get more militant about it.

    Chocolate martinis sound like something I need to investigate . . .

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  9. Yep. I know. I hear ya. I can relate.
    So frustrating. I seriously think my children (and probably my husband as well) all have brain damage. Makes me want to beat my head against the wall.

    And by the way, that anonymous comment you got is just spam. I've seen it on a few other blogs as well, so just delete it and don't let it get your undies in a knot. ;) Annoying, right?? Ugh.

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  10. This is such a cool post Green Girl!

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  11. The bird boys and I were just discussing their inability to put things in the dishwasher.
    Apparently, it stems from the fear of brushing against filthy, food encrusted dishware. Which, you know, is okay for ME to have to deal with, but not for them.

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  12. LOL! I feel your pain. The force is not strong with any member of any team testosterone... ;)

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  13. FYI, I see that you got spammed in your comments by the same guy who spammed me awhile back. ;)

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  14. It's tough, I'll admit, training and raising. Let me put a glimmer of hope out there for you, once they are on their own these lessons resurface and bear fruit. The day will arrive when they come home for a visit and you wonder where the little boy has gone and who is this man, loading the dishwasher?

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  15. If you learn the secrets, let me know, because for the life of me my husband will not put his dishes in the dishwasher.

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  16. It does ruin the good buzz one gets from nights away, filled with book clubs or otherwise....

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  17. Merry Maid You're my only hope.
    Merry Maid You're my only hope.
    Merry Mail You're my only hope.

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  18. Ha! Mine can't master folding the boy's clothes. Like that's rocket science.

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  19. It's an ancient art, grasshopper, teaching the dishwasher maneuver. Argh.

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  20. Part of the problem: they can withstand a much larger pile of dirty dishes than you can handle. It's like the litter box; I clean it because Hubs can wait longer and longer before the aroma gets to him. Poor bunny.

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  21. Yoda, I feel your pain. But I must say this is the first time I have laughed about the Not Loading the Dishwasher syndrome which infects my household, too.

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  22. I have an agreement with The Boy. If he continues to empty the dishwasher when it's clean, I will continue to load the slimy dirty ones into the dishwasher so he doesn't have to touch them. (Why do the silverware have to be loaded handle-down? Eew.)

    As long as the dishes are returned to the kitchen sink, I don't complain. Much.

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  23. Oh my. It's an epidemic!

    I once ignored the dishes just to see how long it would take before anyone in the household took a hint and washed them. No one did. In fact, the other parental unit stopped at the store for paper plates...

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  24. What worked for me was to utterly lose my s**t--it scared them into getting with the program.

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Spill it, reader.