Saturday I was flipping through TV stations and got briefly sucked into Braveheart on Bravo and I found myself really pissed off at Mel Gibson for wrecking some great movies because now every time I see him I don't see a former sexiest man alive/awesome actor, I see CRAZYCRAZYLUNATICMAN and it makes me a little sad, too.
Twice in a month I've gone to church (and to appreciate this story you must know the average service holds 800 people), I've sat on both sides of the sanctuary in front of the exact same two women who carry on a conversation in regular volume--all through the worship, all through the offering, all through communion, up until the sermon begins and I think they're mother/daughter and I'm trying not to be distracted by them but I am and then the one lady chews gum with her mouth open as soon as the preaching starts (after taking 5 minutes to unwrap it from endless layers of cellophane) and I want to turn around and punch them both for not taking a social cue from the rest of the 778 people sitting quietly or singing (including small children, for Pete's sake)--it took all my willpower not to turn around and ask them to exchange phone numbers so they could talk as they wish in a more appropriate place.
Once a week I want to watch TV, just one show, never twice a week or more, Sons of Anarchy is over for now and last night Downton Abbey started up again and I had Team Testosterone tucked in well before 8:00 and besides it's a school night, so I'm trying to kick it in my living room and watch this glorious Public Television programming and don't you know all three of the little twerps are popping out of bed and fighting and generally driving me up a wall and Mr. D's hidden away in our room watching football so I had to deal with them (he had offered to watch football in the living room but I chose the spot--comfy chair, you know) and for the love of all things holy, can't a lady just watch a freaking 2 hours of uninterrupted TV once a week when she lets you play hours of video games and watch hours of Disney Channel/Animal Planet/PBS Kids and hardly gets in your face except to call you to supper?
Spill it, reader. You can run on and on in the comment box. What makes you peevish?
(seriously, try the run-on sentences. it feels exhilarating to rant that way.)