Thursday, April 12, 2012

stinky

Jax found something dead in a ditch and it became his new favorite toy ever. Our dog smells like a rotting corpse. And he keeps dragging various sections of this dead animal to different parts of the yard, so you never know when you'll encounter the stench of decaying flesh. And I swear, he rolled every inch of his furry body over the smelliest bits of whateverthefrickdeadanimal it was so he could carry it with him wherever he goes. Which naturally makes a girl think of e. e. cummings because it is April, which is National Poetry Month, which leads to me wandering around outside quoting the words of dead men in reference to dead animals in my yard.

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


And speaking of smelly--my sons all wake up with the most powerful breath on the planet. They could peel paint off a wall with their morning breath. Because I worry about them offending their classmates and teachers, I'm always nagging to brush your teeth every morning before they leave the house. I tell them I don't want you to be the stinky kid nobody wants to sit next to. They tell me I don't care, Mom, it doesn't matter. Well, yesterday I learned they are right. It doesn't matter.

I subbed in 3rd grade (and yes, I rocked the lessons on perimeter, writing with adjectives, qualities of good leadership, levers, renewable and nonrenewable resources with a huge eco-women emphasis on reducing our use of plastics, and a bit of art with paint at the end of the day--holla!) yesterday. People, those kids STINK. Almost every kid in that class who talked to me about knocked my socks off with their fetid breath. Apparently when all the kids have stinky breath, no one's going to take offense, which is the logic my children have been using all school year. And I guess I've put my kids at a disadvantage by insisting on good oral hygiene because when your own breath is minty-fresh, you totally notice when other people's is funky. Maybe I need to rethink our morning routine ...

KIDDING! But I should buy a super-sized box of breath mints to help that poor teacher out. If I had a dime every time I wanted to offer one of these kids a piece of gum or something just so my eyes wouldn't water when they talked to me...

Despite their poor oral hygiene, they were a good class, cheerful and focused and willing to work hard.

Spill it, reader. What's stinky in your world today?

17 comments:

  1. A roomful of stinky kids huh? My condolences!

    I've been using Listerine daily since an unfortunately run-in with gingivitis a number of years ago. THAT'll knock the stink out of a kid or two...

    Pearl

    p.s. Loved the poem. :-)

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  2. Stinky dog and stinky kids! Well that's no good ;-)

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  3. I so much love e.e. cummings. There's not a whole lot of poetry I care about but this is beautiful and so is all the rest of his stuff. (no poet here)

    My father got on a kick when I was around 9 years, and started making us brush our teeth when we first got up and then again after breakfast.

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  4. Forgot to say I like your new header, but miss those knees.

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  5. Allergies = acrid sinus breath. Tonsils also fill with vile smelling crud. Their teacher appreciates the time you take every morning to knock that down a little. But dogs? Ah, dear dogs.....you're on your own there.

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  6. Lots of stinky roadkill this morning.

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  7. This isn't actually recent, but still worth noting: A few weeks ago, I think there was a dead skunk every 20 ft on the road I drive to Emma's school. I swear, it was just deadly!

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  8. You had me at e.e.cummings

    Stinky in my world? I kind of like the smell of cigars, but not when my husband leaves his ashtray on the porch for 3 straight nights without emptying out the cigar butts and ashes.
    I wanted to sit out there, so I emptied it myself.

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  9. My 4th grader's teacher gives them all a Lifesavers individually wrapped mint when they take spelling tests. She says sucking on a mint helps them think. Now after reading your post today I'm wondering if they have stinky breath and that's the real reason for the mints.

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  10. We've spotted a skunk roaming around the last couple of days, but so far we haven't smelled him (and so far the dog hasn't noticed him, thank goodness).

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  11. What's stinky here? The leftover chicken carcass from last night's dinner. It was hub's turn to clean the kitchen last night and he left said carcass in the crockpot on the counter when he left for work this morning. It's still sitting there. We'll see how long it takes him to figure out that he didn't finish his job last night.

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  12. hmmmm...we've got stinky and nasty...my sister bought each kid a box of jelly bellys in the Dells. She thought that it was just funny packaging, but seriously she bought skunk, barf, canned dog food, and rotten egg flavored jelly beans! (hilarious and soooo very nasty!)

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  13. My daughter's teacher handed out toothbrushes and toothpaste to the entire class. Clearly, it's not just that class that has stinky breath.

    My smelly thing is something in the princess lair - I think it might be her shin guards. It's footy, it's foul and I hold my breath when I go in there.

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  14. I love that poem. It is one of my all time favs. It makes me think of my mom. Not so much of dead animals. ;)

    We make our kids brush their teeth before school too. Stinky!!!

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  15. Oh, I'm a late responder. Will you even see this?? who knows...

    Now...y'see...with CATS, you don't get all that bizznazz...with THEM, it's 1. catch 2. playplayplay 3. kill 4. aaaand we're done (eat or deposit on doorstep, whichever.) *heehee!

    For the BREATH- try a TONGUE SCRAPER. no sh!t...I use one, cuz I have a foul taste in my mouth sometimes, plus, what if I am one of those FunkBreath people that is too nice for other people to tell? ANyways: they are U-shaped metal thingies, you get them in the toothpaste/body care aisle at the health food store, and after you brush, just scrape the tongue and rinse.
    Because I have heard about the culprits of Bad Breath: #1 a dry mouth. Bacteria in the mouth...lots of this on the TONGUE - thus: the tongue scraper.
    * = ) (do they sleep open-mouthed or snore?) coffee and cigarettes (I don't think the kiddos have to worry about this). Trouble Below = indigestion, etc. and then...tooth decay and gum problems....

    BUT

    you will have no trouble at all getting them to try out the neat-o mosquito TONGUE SCRAPER!!! wow! cool! And I will say my mouth feels fresher with consistent use.
    ta-daa.

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  16. Yowzers! Who knew kids are so stinky?! I'm going to go brush my teeth now. :)

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Spill it, reader.