Thursday, April 26, 2012

thank goodness for bumbles

Because this woman needs a little shot of estrogen right now.  And a shot few glasses of wine and good book talk wouldn't hurt, either.  We read The Night Circus and it was really wonderful.  So I'm totally dressing up in all black and white with a red scarf (tres theatrical, like a true rêveur) and ordering something dainty.  Don't wait up, boys.

why so eager for book club tonight, green girl?

Well, I passed my karate module test last night, nailing the kama form (perfection, truly) and adequately passing the fan form.  Because my son is easily embarrassed, I backed down from the Kimono Challenge.  The boy and I share dojo space, I need to respect his need for me to blend into the woodwork and not make a spectacle of myself.  However, the boy and I do NOT share blog space, so I'm totally making a video of the fan form in a kimono for all to witness and enjoy.  Plus I'll demonstrate the level of dexterity required to manage a darn fan.

Mr. G woke me up for the 2nd time this week out of a dead sleep--nightmare.  Again.  And I can never fall back asleep once he does that, so I'm feeling a bit cranky.

Evidently Mr. G felt cranky this morning, too, because when I asked him to read today's lunch menu for us (normally a cool thing since he's learned to read so well), he read "We're having fat f*cking chicken patties."  OH MY!  Like any good mother would do, I promptly jammed a bar of Ivory soap between his lips and turned my back so he couldn't see me stifling hysterical laughter.  Grouchy, foul-mouthed kid.  Where the f*ck does he get off, talking like that?

After shooing the gang down the driveway to catch their bus, I strolled to the back yard to discover this grisly find (please don't look if you've got a weak constitution--this is really, really gross.  I swear.):

That, friends, is some unidentified animal skull. 

Bigger than my foot.

Either the work of that varmint-eating dog of ours or the Yeti, I imagine.

Bumble Book Club, take me away!


  1. congrats on passing your module!

    I about died when I read your son's comment on lunch (can't say that I'd have anything better to say about a school lunch chicken patty!). My own spawn have been enjoying the bar lately too...a friend with grown boys told me once to rub the bar on the outside of their teeth (lasts longer and they can't finagle their tongue away from the bar). Sad that I'd have to know these things..but they are My kids ;)

  2. "... fat f*cking chicken patties..." I LOVE IT!!!

    Can't wait to see the video of you in your kimono, getting all Kill Bill with the fan.

  3. I doubt very much that you really shoved a bar of soap in your son's mouth. That would be too cruel. You don't seem the type. Congratulations on passing your module test in karate. I'm sure that gives a lot of satisfaction. You must be a very agile and powerful woman. Are you going for the black belt?

  4. Funny how our kids love having us there, as long as we don't stray from their idea of propriety!

    That is indeed a grisly find! We find fur and small decapitated bodies on our porches frequently, with our indoor/outdoor cat, but that is just huge! It looks like wild boar, I think :-) Truly a talented dog you have, or a scary yeti.

  5. congrats on the karate forms.
    oops on the kid speak, sometimes they just have to see how far we will let them go. I have no problem with soap in a kids mouth, if it is dirty, it needs cleaning. my girls all found out what soap tastes like, and to this day I have been called on the carpet if they catch me saying things like sh*t.
    as for the skull, looks like pig.

  6. Mr. G is hilarious. I would have had a hard time stifling my laughter. Glad to know you enjoyed Night Circus. It's on my "To Read" list.

  7. That skull does look a little piggy to me too.

  8. I've never used soap on my boys' mouths, but I've used vinegar. There is a Kathleen Falk sign in our neighbor's yard and just the other day my 7 yr old said, "It says f*ck in his yard!" He didn't get the vinegar because we were in the car.

    I'll have to check out The Night Circus.

  9. I don't remember the last book I've read. I think it's time to read yours. Then Night Circus.

    I hope the skull is the doing of the yeti. I want there to be a yeti in Wisconsin. Please let it be the yeti.

  10. Yikes! I hope there's wine at your book club! I don't want to think of how you disposed of that head...

  11. At my house, my husband would have joyfully taken the head to his 'special place' where nature takes it course and finishes cleaning the 'meat' off the skull. Then he brings it home, cleans it and adds it to his collection, which includes a beaver, an owl, a hawk and a bear.

    Congrats on passing.

  12. Parenting provides an awful lot of opportunities to hide laughter (usually in the interest of motherly correction) doesn't it?
    That nasty bit of business from the yard can only add to the yeti legends.

  13. Oh. My. GAWD!!!! That is so F*cking funny!!!! I laughed so hard at that paragraph that I actually had to read it to my hubby. Awesome. hehehe

    What is that head? I would have said cow because of the size but it has sharp teeth? What is going on at your house???? It MUST be the yeti.

  14. Oh, yes, I mean to read THE NIGHT CIRCUS, too--you've reminded me!

    Nice mouth on that kid of yours. Am I sure I want my unsullied lad associating with the trash yaps you've got living in your house?

    F*ck yes.

  15. The Yeti. Definitely the Yeti.

  16. Yeah!!!!!!!!! A big congrats to you!! Well done!


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