Friday, June 8, 2012

eleventy billion

That, dear reader, is the number of details (both fine and major) I must attend to before taking flight out of this cow town and heading to meet my writing partners in Baltimore for 6 days.  I will not bore you with the details on my massive to-do list, but leaving the gang in the hands of this summer's hired boy who has only enjoyed 4 days under my guidance makes me a little nervous.  Not that he's not capable.  He is.  It's just that I worry about what I forgot to tell him, or warn him about. 

Everyone's got to be on the same page, so I'm printing out lists in triplicate--house rules, schedules, preferences, tips.  My MIL is coming in to pinch hit for the latter part of the week, and since she lives far away, I'm concerned about her comfort level, too.  Why is my MIL coming in to pinch hit?  Because Mr. D's got to skip town, too.  Not for a writers' workshop, though.  His reasons concern baseball.

Naturally, when a girl's about to skip town, there are games and practices, birthday parties and holycrapFather'sDayisthedayafterIgetbackintown.  I should ignore six billion of the items on my list and book a yoga session just to sort out my chakras and hangnails. 

I can hardly wait to see my writing peeps in Baltimore.  A week of enlightened conversation, good food, wine and almost no responsibilities.  I can't control what goes down here while I'm there.  And I'm pretty certain the mess will wait just fine until I come back. 

So, I'm shuttering this spot until sometime after I get home.  Have a great start to your summer!

I'll leave you with funny boy stuff:

I emptied out Mr. B's backpack in order to wash it (so I could use it to avoid checking any bags, yo) and came across a certificate for academic achievement.  The little bugger didn't mention he got an award for his great grades!

Later when I retrieved him from a birthday party:

GG:  Buddy, I was cleaning out your backpack and I found that certificate you got.  Academic achievement!  That's really awesome!  You worked so hard this past year and you are so smart.  I'm proud of you.  Why didn't you tell us about it?

Mr. B:  (grinning)  I don't know.  Thanks.

GG:  You know you are wicked smart, bud.  You have such potential.  I love that you got recognized for that.

Mr. B:  Yeah, I was third in my class for grades.

GG:  Third!  That's super!  See?  What did I tell you about studying and working hard in school?  It's just so important.  Your academic success is everything--if you do well in school, the world is at your feet when you graduate.  And you're in a tougher school and you're the third best student.  Dang.

Mr. B:   Mom?  What's "academic" mean?

Meanwhile, Mr. G informed me on the way to baseball last night "I like timsing, but dividing's really not my thing."

Post on Green Girl  (One down, ten billion and some left to do)


  1. if an academic award is the only thing you found in his backpack, good for you.
    you are correct, everything will still be there when you get back, so no stressing out about stuff at home while you are gone. it is a hard reality, but we are not indispensable even if we would like to think we are. and you will be a better wife and mom after you get back. have a safe and happy trip.

  2. They'll be fine. I read somewhere recently that it's only after about six months that vitamin deficiency becomes apparent. So go and enjoy your writer's getaway!

  3. Have a GREAT time! I can't wait to hear about it when you get back.

  4. Reminds me of a classic tale in our family history: Big sister, age 7, says to her little brother, then age 2: "Brother, you're adorable." Brother calls out "I am not! Mom! She called me adorable! Mom, what's adorable?"

  5. Somehow the contents of her desk, which was not that big, have filled up my living room AND dining room. It must have expanded after she pulled it out, that's the only explanation I have.

    Have a great trip!

  6. Have a wonderful time!

    And when you get back, I wanna know what the new hired boy's moniker will be!

  7. Timsing may not be my thing - but Eleventy - LOTR - gotta love it :D

  8. Hope you have a wonderful and safe trip and an awesome time on your break

  9. Have a great time . . . though it seems impossible before we leave, they do survive without us.

    Too, too cute on both school stories.

  10. That's so funny with the meaning of academic and the dividing thing. Too cute!

    Have fun, relax, and enjoy your friends!

  11. *ha! Oh totally. Tell li'l Mr. G that his Aunt B was the exact same way.

    H*o*p*e you have a kickin' good time on yer tripp...!!!


  12. your trip sounds great. and clearly your family will be well-looked-after....have fun!

  13. Have a wonderful trip!

  14. lol - what a cutie!

    congrats on your week away! go, have fun, and don't worry... you're right - any mess they make will probably be there when you get back. hehehe!

  15. I won't bother to share what I found in my kids' backpack... Congrats on a kid who is both smart and humble! Have a great time in Baltimore. Will there be crabs?

  16. I came over from Teresa's website...i am entering a contest to win your book...I am definitely going to have to book mark your site and read some more!!

  17. enjoy your time!! somehow they will survive!!
    have fun!

  18. Haha! I love that. Too funny.

    Hope you are having a lovely time in Baltimore!

  19. Everything will be in one piece when you get back. Enjoy!

  20. What's academic mean? That's hysterical!


Spill it, reader.