Friday, June 7, 2013

so bad

Often people will see my tribe, grin and say "Oh, you must have your hands full," in a jokey kind of way.  I return the grin and say, "they're mostly good.  Loud and messy, but mostly good."

But sometimes?  All boys can be very awful.

The picture below this post is from last night's soccer game.  I've mentioned the days of rain here, and baseball got cancelled.  Soccer did not.  Mr. T had a game and Mr. B, his BFF and Mr. G had to come along because they're too young to be left home alone.  And too irresponsible to be left to their own devices in the Momvan, as it happens.  But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

It took them about 5 minutes for the three goobers to move from a friendly game of tag to sliding through this trench of water.

I yelled at them twice that they'd be miserable and cold, but they kept at it.  "We're having FUN and it's not cold!"  Around me, soccer fans hunkered down in their lawn chairs beneath blankets and fleeces.  It was 52 degrees, not swimming weather, but that didn't stop these goobers.

Sure enough, just before the game got started, a shivering, shriveled and blue-lipped Mr. G begged me to let them sit in the Momvan because they were so cold!  I gave them strict instructions not to sit on the front seats, but okay.

Of course Mr. T's game took extra long.  When I returned to the Momvan all of the windows were steamed up--worse than when I'd go parking with my boyfriend back in high school--you know, to discuss chemistry until curfew.  (It's hard to find a quiet place to be alone and really talk.  All of our conversation would really fog up the windows of his Buick.)  ANYWAY, those windows were COATED and I pulled open the door. 

OH THE SMELL.  Worse than wet dog.  While I tried to clear the moisture so I could see to drive, I started noticing the weird globs all over the dashboard.  The goobers got into my napkin/straw stash and had a spitball war.  In the Momvan.  Gross little grey spitballs even clung from my rearview mirror.

And I could tell they sat on the front seat because my butt was getting damp.

You bet I made them clean the van by hand when we returned home.  Before I let them strip out of their wet, muddy clothes and clean up.  In the pool, because I didn't want them tracking mud through my whole house.

Boys.  They're just so....BOYS.

Photo: 52 degrees at a soccer game and these 3 goobers are with me. I predict wet seats in the Momvan.

I'm going to get a haircut this morning and run a few errands.  I'll have to sit on a towel and ride with a window open because it will still smell nasty in there. 

Boys.  Just look at them.  Having so much fun in the moment. 


  1. My sister has three boys and her life is very different than mine - but very cool :-)
    Funny story and you have a lot of patience and were meant to be a boy mom!

  2. Looks like they were having fun - at the time anyway! ;)

  3. Been there! Boys only live in the hell with consequences, this is fun! That's some serious stinkage...I would have lost it, no Zen mama here ;)

  4. If it makes you feel any better, wet girls don't smell much better. Really.

  5. HA! I love reading about you and your boys! I've missed your stories. I'll be baaaack! ;)

  6. Been there...for years. We used to haul most of the team around in the FamVan. Even in high school all three of my kids played soccer and believe me with budget cuts we were hauling a lot of as.

    We took most of the players to the games (they didn't always have buses) and when we couldn't drive the kids drove...

    Smelly van . . . it should have had a fan and been the FanVan and FamVan

  7. FUN!

    Now that's what life is all about. :)

  8. That's the only way they are going to learn their lesson, if they are going to learn anything at all. At least they have one heck of a memory to look back on. Childhood passes very quickly and you must appreciate every part of it, even the stinky, damp parts. Just think what they'll tell their kids one day.

  9. Oh. My. God.

    Spitballs in the Momvan.

    Those little stinkers.

  10. Not only did my tribe smell EYE WATERINGLY VILE after taekwondo last night, but they were also nasty to one another. Doesn't happen often, but I can't stand it when it does. I told them I was going to just move out. And? The house is a mess. Gah.

  11. Oh no! I giggled all the way through this post, it is so very familiar - although I have 1 girl who spends her time saying "stop it, stop it!" to the boys (and she's only 10)
    Thank you for your comment on my blog, all the rosacea advice has been so welcome, I didn't expect it. The redness isn't so bad but the lumpy bumpy face is awful! Does the cream work for you at all?

  12. Ha! This sounds so familiar (well, all except the spitballs). Good for you, making them clean up their messes. Other than that, it's all fun, right?


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