Last night, after the fireworks and grilling and swimming, the kids clustered 'round the bonfire to roast marshmallows and make s'mores. ("S'more? S'more of what?" bonus points if you can name that movie reference, reader.) Mr. D then asked Mr. B if he knew what we were celebrating.
Mr. B: (confidently) Our independence.
Mr. D: That's right. Our independence from who?
Mr. B: Aliens.
Mr. B thinks Will Smith is the hero of Independence Day, that we're celebrating a holiday based on a movie that may or may not be something that happened in real life because we're talking about a kid who believes sincerely in the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. This horrified me, and I told Mr. D as much.
Green Girl: (fervently) I have to teach these kids this stuff. Today's about the Declaration of Independence! America declaring itself free to self-govern and be its own nation!
Mr. D: Don't forget about World War II. And World War I. Those guys fought for our independence, too. Otherwise we'd be speaking German right now.
Green Girl: !? (bangs forehead against picnic table)