Monday, October 7, 2013

snapped

It was that kind of a weekend around here.  Mr. D had a head cold and you know what guys are like when they're sick.  The weather was grumpy all day Saturday.  We had a million and twenty things to do, but the weather and people's health weren't cooperating.  In the middle of this I was driven to clean the garage because why have a giant shed 50 feet away if you can't store crap in it?  So I coerced Team Testosterone into emptying our garage between flag football games.  I'd come home after the second game, sweep it out and put things in their proper place--shed or garage.  Picture this:  everything in the garage is on the lawn when a downpour hits hard, complete with thunder and lighting.

On a happy note:  Mr. B's flag football team trounced their opponents and they're ranked second in the league.  He had a heckuva game, too.  Both teams were down to 5 players, so all the kids played the entire game--at least until lightning ended the game.

We sped home and Mr. D was miffed at me for insisting on cleaning the garage in a thunderstorm.  He may have had a point, but all the concrete dust that had settled on the contents of our garage was getting washed away in the rain.  Silver linings, right?

I spent two hours sweeping and putting things away, and it is still miraculous to walk around in our garage unfettered by lawnmower, rototiller, trailer and power washer.  The new storage area has lots of space, even after I dragged up the lawn chairs and pool toys.  Organized and tidy--I've walked out to admire my work at least seven times since Saturday.

Tragedy struck while I was hauling a stack of metal posts out to the yard.  My ring finger got pinched and I dropped the posts with a yelp.  I looked down at my finger and saw my wedding ring had snapped apart--the band was pinching the skin of my finger.  Broken.  I couldn't believe it.

Part of me is sentimental enough to be upset by this.  It's my ring!  I designed it myself!  A symbol of our love now broken after nearly two decades--what does this mean?  Can the ring be saved???

(Probably not.  I'm not a welder, just the granddaughter of one, but I know mended metal is weaker.)

Part of me is practical enough to understand this isn't tragic by any stretch.  Of course it wore down and got weak enough to break apart.  You wore it facing the same direction for two decades.  You hardly ever took it off and it took a beating.  At least you didn't lose it or lose the diamond, it's only a busted band.  If you didn't always wear it, it wouldn't have broken.  You can design a new ring, a stronger ring, it's only a ring, only a symbol.  

Part of me is pleased by the break because my ring was gold, which I never wear.  For a very long time I've wished my ring was silver, but you can't redo your wedding ring just because your taste in jewelry changes...or can you?  I could design a silver ring and it will match all of my earrings!

(Back story on the ring:  Mr. D proposed with only a diamond in a plain-Jane setting.  Then he took me to a jeweler in Madison where I designed my own ring around the diamond.  A custom ring like nobody else's.  I still love how it is uniquely mine and I really hope we can replicate it in silver--or titanium--or tungsten.)

Mostly I was aghast and confused.  Fortunately, my good friend N is the kind of gal who knows jewelry and has a personal relationship with a couple of stores (and I'm the kind of gal who doesn't know an empress cut from a carat, but I am smart enough to call someone who does).  She gave me recommendations and assured me that what happened is NOT the end of the world (or my marriage).  People upgrade their rings all the time, it seems.  They get anniversary bands and reset their stones and it has no bearing on their true love.  She left me with fresh perspective:  today's metals are better than the metals used in jewelry twenty years ago, so my new ring will be stronger.  Aha!  Not unlike my relationship with Mr. D.  We're not the same people we were twenty years ago, we're better and therefore our bond is superior to the one forged back in 1995.

So, it's Monday.  My garage is cleaned, most of the summer stuff is stored and my left hand feels naked.  I have to drive to town and talk to a jeweler about making me a new wedding ring. 

16 comments:

  1. My band was made out of Pat's mom's first wedding band. She upgraded a few times. Mine is still kicking....

    I got that head cold, and while I normally push through, I have to say that today, day 4, has me not moving off the sofa very much.

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  2. I had 2 anniversary bands (gold) remade....they were 2 exact same bands, received one year apart (wedding, and then 1 yr annivsary) I wore them next to each other for years. Then, got a 1 carat solitaire ring, in gold. I decided a few years back, to change out design and metals....so I took one anniversary band (with 10 diamonds) and had it remade into a different looking anniversary band but in platinum...with the diamonds going all the way around the band,, countersunk. Very pretty, and my style! the other anniversary band, with 10 diamonds, I had remade into one ring, using the 10 diamonds, and the solitaire diamond. That became my "wedding ring". Also in platinum. I have been very happy with the remakes of all 3 rings. They are functional, and my taste. I no longer wear yellow gold either!

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  3. You are a strong woman -- and not just due to all the work you put in this weekend! Looking on the bright side definitely has silver linings, a.k.a., overuse of comparisons, but do you like how I slipped the "silver" in there?
    It's a wonder that my ring hasn't broken from all the abuse it takes, but the fact I don't haul metal posts probably has something to do with it.

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  4. So glad you noticed it broke before it fell off and you lost the whole thing!! Good to see you saw this as much less than the end of the world and found that silver lining. A perfect metaphor you made!

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  5. Rob and I desperately need to clean out our garage --mostly so a new one can be built. But the idea! And then we have to store all that stuff until the new one is built! I think we'll probably get around to it when the current walls collapse. However, when we do, we are making it larger, with an extra bay for the riding mower, chain saws, weed-whacker, gas cans, etc.

    My wedding band and engagement ring are a set that belonged to Rob's maternal grandparents (they have an inscription from 1920). The band on the engagement ring broke a couple of summers ago after I'd been hauling on the wheel of the riding mower for a couple of hours. A local jeweler fixed it, but told me next time they'll need to add metal when it breaks next time. The set is made of white gold, by the way, which is gold with nickel as the primary alloy ingredient. I love it because I never wear yellow gold jewelry :-) My rings match all my silver jewelry.

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  6. I've never heard of rings breaking, but considering the types of projects you tend to take on, it does not surprise me.

    My original wedding back is gold too, but I haven't worn it in a while. First, it didn't fit when I gained weight. Then, by the time I started losing weight, I had stopped wearing gold altogether. These days, I wear a two simple silver bands -- one plain one and one that has three tiny sapphires to represent my husband and two daughters (September birthdays, all of 'em).

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  7. Have the original gold one melted down into a small pendant and wear on a chain around your neck. My mom did that years ago. She took a lot of mis-matched 14k gold earrings and earring backs and her wedding ring after she divorced my father and had all melted into a small pendant. I still have it. xox

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  8. I can't believe it snapped! My ring is gold too. Everyone did gold back then.

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  9. I'd get a titanium ring, because the color is right for you and it is much stronger than silver or gold. You won't have to worry about it breaking again so quickly. Yes, it's only a symbol of your bond and the true evidence of it is the love that you share with each other every day. It seems to me that you have enough of that going around. I am kind of envious of you, as a matter of fact. :)

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  10. I lost my diamond in Denmark . . . sounds like a song but I felt kinda depressed by it... I'd worn it for years...so I know the feeling. :(

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  11. All my rings are yellow gold. I am allergic to nickel so no silver or white gold for me unless very expensive. My wedding band is a wide one, and there was no engagement diamond. My kids gave me a ring with 3 diamonds in it they designed about 5 yrs ago (diamond in my birth stone ), I wear that one with my wedding band. On my right hand I wear a mothers ring with my 7 children's stones it.

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  12. I lost my wedding ring last month, and I can't believe how much I miss it, on a tactile level. My other fingers keep wanting to twirl it around. But nope.

    Someday, I'll get another one. But I'm sure missing it now.

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  13. Dude, for real:
    I'll bet you've been married for about 25 years at least.
    Refer to your Bible. All things on this Earth will pass away...you know...you still have the diamond(s) and the gold...here's what your blonde guru would do. Take this as a Sign of Transformation and Rebirth for you and your husband and your Relationship...I read that you designed it yourself...time to design another one. Sell that gold.
    I'm not proud of it, but I have sold gold this year, and there is a woman here in My Town who pays cash on the nail at whatever gold is trading at on that particular day...so...find someone fair like that, and then use THAT money towards paying your jeweler-buddy to make the new setting you design.
    Serious.
    Don't look back on an event like this....Things are just Things....even something as seemingly steeped in symbolic value as a wedding ring, with the investment of your heart and soul's worth of love in the design...the Love didn't go anywhere. Some Energy finally maxxed it out - exploded it, tore it open, what have you - and you are still left with the ingredients.
    Make another!
    And maybe even include a new stone, too!
    <3

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  14. White gold.....you don't want to set a diamond in silver. Too soft.
    * ; )

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  15. I don't blame you a bit for being upset about your ring. When my mom lost the diamond from her engagement ring after 35 years, she literally took to her bed.

    Of course, she got a bigger diamond out of the deal, so that helped. I think I'd almost go for a clean garage instead.

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  16. My husband kept the solitaire and re-did the setting for my 40th birthday--I loved my original ring, but I really did want platinum. I take mine off all the time though--for someone that wears a lot of jewelry, I have to take it all off to really get comfy.

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