Wednesday, October 16, 2013

turkish nightmare

Mr. Lewis, I'm sure you had NO idea how popular your books would be, which is why you probably didn't give much thought to writing a scene where the White Queen offers Edmund Turkish Delight and the kid goes nuts over how delicious it is.  Seriously?  What kid gets ecstatic over a combination of nuts, gelatin and rosewater?  No kid that I've ever met. 

But you wrote the Chronicles of Narnia and children everywhere are enthralled.  In particular, Mr. B adores the series--it's one of very few fiction books he has devoured, so thanks for that.

Here's the thing, C.S.  (May I call you C.S?  No?  Well, then, Mr. Lewis.)  Mr. Lewis, my son's birthday is this week and he really really really wants to bring a treat.  His school is on full-nut lockdown, so the teachers have offered an extra recess on a kid's birthday for the class in lieu of life-threatening snacks.  But, Mr. B convinced his teacher that Turkish Delight would be educational since it's in the book their class read and he really really really wants to taste it. 

Mr. Lewis, I looked up recipes for Turkish Delight.  This recipe has almost no food in it that my kid or any other kid his age will enjoy.  Gelatin.  Nuts.  Rosewater. Lemon or orange zest.  Please.  And it takes about an hour and a half of putzing around the kitchen with a candy thermometer and whatnot. 

This isn't going to happen.  Between the sheer effort involved (including a long trip across town to the one little Indian grocery store that sells rosewater) and the nut allergies and the fact that my efforts will certainly end up in Miss V's classroom trash can--well, I'm about to do something terrible.

I'm going to fudge.  I'm going to stir together a dessert made with pudding and raspberries and whipped cream and create a trifle that sounds just like the amazing concoction Edmund ate in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and I'm going to sell it as Turkish Delite.  Do you see what I did there, Mr. Lewis?  By mentally switching the spelling of Turkish Delight, I'm giving myself license to make a dessert where nobody gets killed or suffers.

Seriously, Mr. Lewis.  The White Queen couldn't have offered Edmund fudge or toffee or chocolate cake? 

19 comments:

  1. You might also be able to pull a fake with aplets and cotlets.

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  2. Ah, I always wondered about the Turkish Delight...

    Still. Anything with pudding, though, will be a hit. :-)

    Pearl

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  3. I heartily approve of your plan. They will love it. Trifle is way, way better than Turkish Delight. If C.S. had thought for 30 seconds about it, he would have put trifle in the book instead of turkish delight. But then, I wonder if part of his point is that the temptation, once tasted, is never as good as one thinks it will be.

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  4. Well cool --I always wondered what Turkish Delight was, and now I know. I wonder if kids back then actually liked it?

    Your desert sounds much better, and I don't think anyone will be the wiser. Honestly, as a kid I always wondered if Turkish Delight wasn't a real desert, but just a cool name that made the reader think of what their favorite desert would have been.

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  5. C.S. Lewis is many things, but a caterer he is not. Ick.
    Your idea is way better.

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  6. One of my closest high school friends was the Turkish exchange student! She introduced us to the sugary awesomeness that is all things Turkish and delightful lol.

    By all means, go with the anaphylactic free version, but buy a box online for your little birthday boy...you just never know!

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  7. I've never tried it, but then again, I've never seen it anywhere that I can recall.

    One of my nephews read about Toad in the Hole in a book and was delighted to discover it on a brunch menu recently. He had no idea what it was, but confidently ordered it, as only a six year old will. He was surprised when it arrived and asked me a few questions about it, but then devoured every bite of it, then started looking at everyone else's plates for more food.

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  8. I would agree to the change in ingredients. I was never fond of nuts in my jello.

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  9. Your Delite sounds absolutely delightful and much better than the common Turkish one. What a good solution that is! Can you save me one?

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  10. Improvisation is the key to effective parenting. You have done well with your version of the original. Who has time to drive all the way across town for some obscure ingredient whose name has already escaped me... Pudding makes everything better-except chili. Don't ask.

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  11. I'm pretty sure I've seen Turkish Delight in a shop somewhere. (Heathrow airport, maybe?) I would have bought it, just for the experience, but it didn't look very appealing.

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  12. But the name is so delightful!

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  13. try this
    http://www.libertyorchards.com/category/Turkish_Delights

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  14. I remember when I was a kid an elderly lady offering some dusty candied ornage peel and being sort of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "um, no thank you"

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  15. HAAAA! I think you are well within your rights as A Sane Mom to make a few innocent substitutions. The fact that you'd even consider a school treat that requires use of a candy thermometer shows that you are a loving mom.

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  16. LOL! I saw some Turkish Delight the other day in Marshall's. You could just buy a box and make fudge as a backup, for after they discover how awful TD is.

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  17. I live in the land of Applets and Cotlets (I'm serious, Cashmere is only a few hours away) and they make some candies that are actually Turkish Delight (rosewater). I prefer Cotlets.
    I can also assure you from personal experience that eating too many of them makes a person feel very awful.

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  18. You are a a genius. Even as a kid, I knew there was no way that stuff actually tasted good.

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  19. I am from Turkey, and I don't think that I ever met someone who made their own delight. Rosewater is only used for the ones, if ones wants to give the rose-y taste. The most popular taste is pistachio. You either like it or hate it. But also, the brand is really important. I have only 1 favorite brand, the rest I would say.. no thank you! I hope your experiment turned out good!

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Spill it, reader.