Team sports have taken over our family's calendar, and it's time to face the hard truth: my life as a karate mom is done. I've said it for years--when the boys finish, I'll be done, too.
It's tough coming to grips with this realization. I've been kicking it in the dojo for half a decade. I'm halfway to a third degree black belt, but my motivation to finish just isn't there. It's a time thing, our evenings and weekends are booked with games and practices. It was easy to make it to karate when I had to bring kids. Now I have to bring the kids to the gym, so there's no built-in reason for me to go to karate.
I hate going to black belt class because most of the other adults have dropped out, leaving me a giant among rugrats. It's one thing to be a giant among rugrats when some of them are one's own offspring, but I'm going to be honest with you: I'm not that much into other people's kids. Not to the point where I'd hang out with them instead of hanging out with my own, anyway. And don't even get me started on how awful it is to spar little people. That's a separate post. Seriously.
I could go to adult class, but that would mean a whole shift of schedule. Adult class meets later at night, and I'm not sure I'd make it consistently anyway as kids' games and other stuff provide constant interference. I've seen that adult class--it looks like a really fun group of people. Would I fit in? Would they accept me? If I switched, I'd have to do any third degree curriculum on my own because most of the adults are under belts. Am I that committed?
My last module test felt embarrassing. A person does have to practice karate in order to be any good at it. That means showing up for class and putting in the time at home. I didn't do that. I didn't look awful, but I sure didn't look my best either. I knew what to do, but my kicks weren't as sharp, my moves weren't as crisp as they would have been if I'd worked harder ahead of the test. The competitive part of me hates not being the best in class.
I made this rule years ago that the minute I look like an old lady trying to do karate, I'm outta there.
The trouble is, I miss it. I miss kicking and punching and striking. I miss the good work out. How else will I stay in shape if I'm not at karate? I just cannot picture myself at zumba class or lifting weights or working out to DVDs in my living room.
This much is true: the Momvan rarely brings Team Testosterone to the dojo anymore. We're done investing in weapons and learning new forms together. That chapter is finished, but I have to do something besides sit on my butt in bleachers.